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The sex is sooo good but no orgasms!

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 July 2011) 5 Answers - (Newest, 3 July 2011)
A female Australia age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I just can't figure out why i can't orgasm with my boyfriend.

The sex is SO good!! But I've only come close a few times, but just haven't got there.

I can orgasm by myself pretty easily.

It's really frustrating for both of us!

It's been months since we've started having sex and we do it about 3 times a day, we've tried heaps of different positions...so you would think we would have figured it out by now.

If anyone could help, well, that would just be awesome!!

View related questions: orgasm

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (3 July 2011):

person12345 agony auntOnly 25% of women can orgasm from penetration alone so don't feel like you're weird or broken or that this is even a problem. This is why sex terminology is so problematic. It consists of foreplay and sex, as though sex is the only "main course." But the truth is "foreplay" is what most women orgasm from.

Try orgasming before intercourse. Have him give you oral or use his fingers and then have intercourse. There's nothing wrong with that, like I said "foreplay" is what most women orgasm from.

If you want to orgasm during intercourse add in your fingers during sex and masturbate yourself to orgasm. It gives him an awesome view, and allows you to orgasm during penetrative sex.

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A male reader, Ronnie70 United Kingdom +, writes (3 July 2011):

Ronnie70 agony auntIf an orgasm is that important to you, and you can manage it on your own easily, why not fiddle with your 'bean' while you're getting it on with your partner? He would probably get quite turned on by that.

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A female reader, Abella United States +, writes (3 July 2011):

Abella agony auntIt's foreplay, foreplay, foreplay and more foreplay.

All I can suggest is that together you spend a minimum of 20 minutes together on foreplay. Then he to give you a further exclusive minimum of 20 minutes foreplay, just for you. I know, it's tough, the things we do for love !!!

Then when you can't take anymore foreplay, make sure he continues to arouse you a little longer with another 10 minutes, on the things that have clearly aroused you the most, before he enters you.

It's not quantity of interactions, nor length of times he is thrusting. It's not even the positions, although that helps. Instead it is extended continuous seriously inventive, surprising, innovative, varied, sensual, delighting foreplay that will get you to 100% orgasmic every time.

It's your partner knowing every little nuance of your responses and observing keeny how you respond best, to what.

Go through the DearCupid Articles using the word 'sex' as the key search tool.

There are some gems in the Articles, on good sex.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (3 July 2011):

CindyCares agony aunt You don't tell if you had the same problem with previous boyfriends or not.

If you have always been this way.... no biggie. There are tons of women that can't reach orgasm through penetration only. As long as you respond to other kinds of stimulation,it's all fine.

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A female reader, Rosalieblackheart United Kingdom +, writes (3 July 2011):

Rosalieblackheart agony auntIt is normal to not be able to orgasm for a while. Dont try to push yourself usually if you just let it come when it's ready. Good luck and may be if you give the sex a break for a few days it might help. All the best Rosalieblackheart

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