A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I dated a guy last year for a few weeks and he dumped me, saying he wasn't ready for a relationship. I thought this was a bs excuse. But I fell hard for him and still think about him even though I have a boyfriend now.I found out the other day that a friend of a friend knows him so I got her to get him talking about relationships etc.He told her that last year he got out of a long-term relationship and tried to date other people but couldn't. He then said that he met a 'great girl' but didn't feel that thing you need to have to move on romantically.The 'girl' is me and I feel so shattered now. For a long time I wondered what happened between us because he was so interested and now I know... he had no feelings for me. It hurts so much.When he broke up with me I didn't call him or chase him, I just told him that I respected his decision and if he wanted to he could call me. He never did. Should I have done more??So now, how do I get over him finally... how do I just let go. I have the most amazing boyfriend now and I couldn't bear to not be with him, I truly love him... but the memory of this other guy and what could have been is killing me slowly.How do I move on???
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female
reader, LLindy87  +, writes (7 September 2010):
 I've been in this guy's shoes before. I recently this past month went out with this guy who was great, perfect and was a guy who I should have dated. However, I didn't feel it. I couldn't make myself feel something for him because emotions don't work like that, but I wasn't stupid, I did recognize how great of a catch he was, just not my catch.
So in a sense this guy did you a favor, he ended it right when he recognized how he felt, didn't linger, didn't wait months to date you and didn't waste your time. However, you are wasting your own time on it. I think you should cut your losses, try your best to stop thinking about all the 'what ifs' and focus on the here and now.
because hun, no matter what you would have done to 'chase' him after he told you he didn't want anything more, his decision would have been the same. But when you want to date a guy, do you want them to just consider it or do you want them to just know? idk about you, but I'd rather date the guy who was for sure into me.
I think you were really classy about how you dealt with it. You respected his decision and didn't bother him about it anymore, I wish that guy I first talked about did the same...instead I got 20 text messages, a mean voice mail.
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