A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok, so I've randomly ended up in this love triangle kind of situation. A good friend of mine (let's call him John) tells me his best mate (call him James) wants to ask me out. But I kind of have a crush on John and am not really interested in James.Everyone in my friendship circle is saying that James is a good guy and that we would make a good couple but we don't really have much in common and I don't feel attracted to him, although I have only met him a couple of times.And what about John? He clearly sees me as just a friend if he is passing on the message that James is interested. But if things end badly between James and I will it make our friendship awkward? But if things work out between James and I then maybe we can all be good friends.It gets more complicated because I am 20 and have never kissed a guy or had a boyfriend before. So part of me really wants to have a boyfriend, but another part is really nervous because I won't know what to do with James.What should I do???
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female
reader, EbonyBlossom  +, writes (1 August 2010):
 It is possible that John has sensed that you like him, and because he feels guilty about not feeling the same way, is trying to set you up with James. How well do you think things with James will work out?
You have two choices:
You can either follow your heart, tell John how you feel, if he feels the same then make a shot of it. But be prepared that John might say no if James does genuinely want to be with you. But if John says no, don't leap into a relationship with James as it will look really bad an may change John's opinion of you.
The other option is two give James a shot, and see if things work out. Maybe they will and things will be hunky dory. If things don't work out, wait for a couple of weeks, and then tell John that you've been having feelings for him. Don't tell him you liked him while you were with James as he may get defensive of his friend.
Whichever you choose, good luck!
A
male
reader, KidfromLA93  +, writes (1 August 2010):
Hi
When you are not attracted to somebody then you should not date him thats , obvious , because if you do ,thats gonna have a lot of consequences.
A question is , how do you know that John just sees you as friend ?
Many people hide their feelings , and when you see your friend is interested in somebody , you help your friend of course. If he would tell his friend that he likes that somebody too ,that would cause tensions.
You should tell him ( John ) that you are not interested in James , because you don't feel attracted to him and you don't feel nothing common with him. Tell it in a really nice way and just be friends with James , maybe he's going to be sad ,but he's going to appreciate that you were nice with him. Best would be if you would tell James personally that you are not interested in him.
Whenever you feel ready , you need to be alone with John and tell him that you are interested in him , unfortunately there is no guarantee that he might say yes, but if you want to find out ,you have to do this difficult step.
Don't regret in the future that you did not do anything, because the worst thing to do is leaving a question unanswered in your life.
Kissing is easy ,just let yourself go and fallow your feelings and feel the connection between you and your loved one, and you have to relax, just think there is nobody in the world just the two of you , and being a bit nervous will be forgiven at the first kiss.
Kiss how you feel comfortable and don't try to be the best kisser in the world , because there is no perfect kiss it only matters how you and your partner feel.
Kissing is form of expressing your inner feelings.
I wish you luck with everything ,if you are not sure with confronting John then let it have some time and get to know him as friend and ask yourself if you really like John.
Goodbye
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2010): Hi there,
Okay, since you said that everyone in your friendship says that James is a good guy and you both would make a good couple. So, before you give it a try, I think you should to understand him better before going any further. Try to get closer to him, know his personality and so on. And do remember to check his background.
You cannot force someone to love you if he doesn't. But, you can try to make him fall in love with you. Try to attract his attention, make him feel that your presence is there and not only that, try to make him feel that your someone special to him. Let it slowly develop and within time hopefully things will work out.
I hope that you will go for John. Choosing the correct love is always a big risk for everyone. So think and choose wisely!
HAVE A NICE DAY!
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