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The girl I love, loves my best friend

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 November 2016) 3 Answers - (Newest, 14 November 2016)
A male Ireland age 22-25, *lynn Steel-Smith writes:

So I like a girl in my school, and were both sophomores. I've liked her since freshman year and I have tried literally everyday to ask her out, and now she has a boyfriend. I would ask her out even if she had a boyfriend but a problem that I have encountered now is that her boyfriend is my best friend from middle school and he is better looking than me. (I think) So what do I do? I cant get her out of my head and this isnt bad, but its affected how I work in school, at work, how I work out and many other things. I'm stuck and I'm getting scared I'll start hurting myself since I've been getting angry whenever I think of my BEST FRIEND from middle school. Please help me!

View related questions: at work, best friend, has a boyfriend, she has a boyfriend

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A female reader, Eagle'sfan1986 United States +, writes (14 November 2016):

Hi I think there is plenty of fish out there for you to date. Not a girl who is in a relationship especially since she is seeing your best friend. Put yourself in your in your best friend's shoes. Would you like it if he stole the girl from you if she was dating you? It might upset your best friend if you are thinking of making a move on his gf. Wait until she is single and interest in you later on after a few months go by if the couple broke up. But do try dating girls that are free first

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (12 November 2016):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntIf you knew her for so long and liked her for so long, why didn't you ask her out BEFORE she got a boyfriend? What stopped you? If it was shyness, then now is the time to work on that and practice talking to girls. They are humans, just like you. They are not a different species. See them as friends first, then talking to them will become easier and asking them out will not seem so daunting.

On the plus side, relationships started so early seldom last for very long, so you may get your chance to ask this girl out WHEN SHE IS FREE. Asking out girls who already have boyfriends is a sure way of lining yourself up for heartache and rejection.

You obviously haven't thought this through. How would you trust a girl who would agree to two-time her boyfriend by going out with you? If she was willing to do it once, she would probably do it again. You should not even put a girl in that position.

Is there anyone you can talk to about your feelings of anger and your fears you may start hurting yourself? Is there a teacher who can listen and help?

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (12 November 2016):

N91 agony auntYou need to remove yourself from the situation. You can't just go around asking girls out who have boyfriends, let alone when it's your best friend, that's extremely disrespectful and nothing good will come of it.

When you value a girl higher than the relationship of your best friend you need to have a long think. Girls come and go, but your best friend is always there for you.

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