A
male
age
26-29,
*ComplicatedGuy123
writes:There's this girl who I found to be amazing. I am the type to fall for girls who "catch my eye" as in i am picky and i go for girls who call out to me. This girl caught my eye a while ago but she's one of those girls that i call wayy out of my league as well as taller than me X_x. But i unexpectedly with a certain turn of events this girl and i started talking and even more than just talking. I found out from a friend that she's interested in me as well as i am interested in her. But i dont know what to do shes just so amazing. Im just afraid of what people would say, our height difference. i only think about this when im not talking to her none of this matters. i guess i feel insecure about it when im not with her. Another problem is her religion, shes a jehovna witness X_x. In other words shes not allowed to do anything despite how fun and spirited she is but she did tell me she would get a boyfriend just cant tell her parents. Im just confused on what i should do and what not! i want to confess to her soon but what would happen than? someone help me out please ;[
View related questions:
insecure Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2011): Why would you go to some of the web sites suggested (the same reason you wouldn't go to Disneyland to see what Paris was about) try going to the source www.watchtower.org, oh and no matter who you are dating you will never get anywhere trying to change them! This is a reality to her and she is subject to her feelings about it, trust me if she is not thinking about it now then it will resurface later (it will be one of those scenarios where you ask "what's wrong dear"), you or some may call it brain washing but others have likened it to "principles that have motivated the heart" (:
Trust me the advise so far puts you on the outside looking in ):
Take Care!!
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (29 November 2011):
 Just to reply to the person who said that "she can marry anyone she wants". Technically, the answer is yes. In practice, the answer is no. Jehovah's witnesses live under very strict mind control. Their asshole elders decide who gest to do what.
Ever heard about "Worlds Apart", the movie? I don't think so. Here's a link for you:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIDwXYACfmM&feature=related
As to being your friend, the sad answer is that they are usually NOT your friends. They wouldn't say they are your friends in front of other Jehovah's witnesses, and the reason is that they are not supposed to be friends with "worldlies". We are undesirable as companions, for the simple reason we're not Jehovah's witnesses.
Now, deep in her heart, she might be your friend. And she could indeed love you. She might just be one of the two-thirds of Jehovah's witness youth who leave the sick cult when they are old enough to do so, but she might not; and if that were the case, then our friend would be in for a very bad ride.
For a Jehovah's witness, a friend can only be another Jehovah's witness. Period. And they are friends only for as long as they don't break the rules of the religion.
Young man, check the movie and you'll see who is telling you the truth. Find out for yourself, like I did.
People tend to think that Jehovah's witnesses are just another highly religious group. That is plain wrong. In the immortal words of a podcaster, Jehovah's witnesses "are a different beast".
On second thought, do send me a PM and I will put you in contact with former Jehovah's witnesses. Hopefully with one man who was an elder.
...............................
A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (29 November 2011):
Just to reply to the person who said that "she can marry anyone she wants". Technically, the answer is yes. In practice, the answer is no. Jehovah's witnesses live under very strict mind control. Their asshole elders decide who gest to do what.
Ever heard about "Worlds Apart", the movie? I don't think so. Here's a link for you:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIDwXYACfmM&feature=related
As to being your friend, the sad answer is that they are usually NOT your friends. They wouldn't say they are your friends in front of other Jehovah's witnesses, and the reason is that they are not supposed to be friends with "worldlies". We are undesirable as companions, for the simple reason we're not Jehovah's witnesses.
Now, deep in her heart, she might be your friend. And she could indeed love you. She might just be one of the two-thirds of Jehovah's witness youth who leave the sick cult when they are old enough to do so, but she might not; and if that were the case, then our friend would be in for a very bad ride.
For a Jehovah's witness, a friend can only be another Jehovah's witness. Period. And they are friends only for as long as they don't break the rules of the religion.
Young man, check the movie and you'll see who is telling you the truth. Find out for yourself, like I did.
People tend to think that Jehovah's witnesses are just another highly religious group. That is plain wrong. In the immortal words of a podcaster, Jehovah's witnesses "are a different beast".
On second thought, do send me a PM and I will put you in contact with former Jehovah's witnesses. Hopefully with one man who was an elder.
...............................
A
male
reader, unknown2u +, writes (29 November 2011):
Glad you've found this helpful.
FWIW, if have a sister-in-law who is a Jehovah Witness. She won't attend any family gathering that has to do with a birthday, an anniversary, Christmas, Thanksgiving, or New Years. Basically anything that has to with anything. As our family only makes the effort to get togther around one of the above, well, we don't see them much. As I said, FWIW.
...............................
A
female
reader, blueskyday +, writes (29 November 2011):
don't listen to most of these answers. When she gets older she can marry outside her faith its her choice, it's just frowned upon for now leave her be.text her a good morning text it'll keep you guys as good friends
...............................
A
male
reader, AComplicatedGuy123 +, writes (29 November 2011):
AComplicatedGuy123 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI really appreciate this help, Im just so into her idk what to do, this made my eyes more open to be sure what i really should do.
...............................
A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (28 November 2011):
On second thought, please visit these websites and become informed:
www.jwfacts.com
www.freeminds.org
www.jehovahs-witness.net
...............................
A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (28 November 2011):
 Don't worry about the height thing.. people love to gossip and talk, so just ignore them. Your not dating them, so who cares what they think. They'll always find something to say, some people are like that. We had a woman on here, she's a "little person", about 3ft tall. Her boyfriend is 6ft, he carries her about like a little doll and they both love it. Al Pachino, Tom Cruise, Prince the musician, these are all smaller guys, but they love to date tall women with long legs.. again, who cares, they are handsome men no matter their size.Jehovah's witness.. that's a whole different thing. Is she part of the religion? Does she share their beliefs. If she does you will find some difficulty as your values and beliefs will be different. She might even try to convert you and get you to join her church. Be very careful of that. Had an aunt that joined the religion, her husband has not had sex since. Was in a relationship with a guy whose parents were JW. Sigh... at first we wasn't even allowed to eat in the same room as them, something about not sitting down with "pagans" as they loved to call us.If it's her parents religion and she just has to obey, you still got to be careful. She lives with them and she has to obey their rules or they might kick her out of the house. Happened to one JW girl I knew. She and her boyfriend were in the church and were due to get married. He convinced her to have sex cause they were to marry anyway. When she got pregnant, nobody in the church blamed him, but she got thrown out of the house. She was a young girl, only about 17, it broke my heart to see person after person turn away, refuse to look at her or shake her hand. And she a young teen, no family, a big belly and no husband. Eventually the guy realised he was wrong, and married her after all... Be very careful, find out exactly what this girls views are on the religion. JW splits up families, if your not "saved" and part of them, they can isolate you and make things very unpleasant.
...............................
A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (28 November 2011):
One more thing. There is a good thing about mixing with Jehovah's witnesses, if you do it with open eyes. You learn how religion is nothing but a lie. In their case, it's simply a more cultic and blatant one.
Trust me.
Maybe you won't trust a guy who has a devil in his avatar, but I put it there precisely because I know there are no devils. Now, bullshit it a different matter; there's plenty of it, specially in the publications of Jehovah's witnesses.
...............................
A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (28 November 2011):
Dear friend, trust me a lot, a hell of a lot, on this one: You don't want to do that. TRUST ME. The Jehovah's witnesses religion is a dangerous cult. These good people are manipulated by criminal leaders. Until they are free of that problem themselves, they are not good, either.
You're in for a lot of very serious heartbreak. And so would she. She is not supposed to mingle with you, a "worldly". She is doing that against her religion and parents. If they were to find out she's seeing you, at the very least she would undergo a lot of pressure and criticism. And so would you.
She may not be manipulative but her elders undoubtedly are. You don't want to get involved in that cult.
I see you're in love and I know - because I was in your shoes - that you won't pay attention to what I am saying. But, whatever you do, don't ever ever join that cult. Don't baptize into that publishing house scam.
If you send me a private message, I will be happy to refer you to people who can tell you a lot more than I. People who were inside that hell.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2011): The whole she shouldn't have a boyfriend but wants one and would go behind parents back- wisdom says one, why help another lie? Two, lying means hiding and games. ICK Games equates issues/drama.
I'd say leave it the heck alone.
Crush on her. Why not? But don't touch. ;)
Doing this rids you of the whole height difference condfidence thing as well as you don't invite in drama.
...............................
A
male
reader, unknown2u +, writes (28 November 2011):
I think you want to be wary if you're going in to a relationship that's based upon deceit. Her parents don't approve of her dating but she's going to do it anyway. At some point that's going to get in the way. It is a very strict religion.
As long as you're going in with your eyes open, then go for it. She sounds great.
...............................
|
