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anonymous
writes: Dear cupid, I have been in a relationship now fot the last 7 months, we get on great, have a great relationhip and lots of fun. I know that he feels strongly for me, as he treats me and my children well and tells me he loves me. In my past couple of relationships i have been cheated on and this has caused me to be terribly insecure, despite how great my new partner is.However, although his last relationship had been over for several months he and his ex still shared the same house, he bought her out of the house and she moved out when the mortgage and house details had all been sorted. I know this wasnt the greatest start to the relationship, but he was very honest with me and spent so much time with me, i had no reason to worry about anything.He told me that the breakup was an ammicable one and that they were friends, and about a month ago, he casualy told me that he may meet up with her to assist her with something that was going on with her. I felt a little uncomfortable with this and told him so. I felt that since they had no ties, such as no kids, i didnt think it was necessary for him to offer to do stuff for her.He told me after that he realised that he might have been a little insensitive and said that he thought it was best that he be honest with me about meeting her, it came to nothing tho. Yesterday, i did smething that i shuldnt, i looked through his fone and found a message that he had sent to her telling her that he couldnt make one nite as he was working and would the next night be any good. Of course i got upset and i think he guessed what i had done cuz i was fine one minute and upset the next, he was looking in his fone and deleted all the messages, i looked later on in the day, so i am almost certain he knows. But now ive got myself in a ppsition where i cant say anything without admitting to looking in his fone and he cant say anything cuz he cant be actually sure that i did.All this cuz of my stupid insecurities, i know your gonna think stupid woman, shouldnt be going thru his fone and i know your right, i have probalbly pset myself over something totaly innocent.I dont want to be like this, how do i get over this being insecure, i hurt myself no one else and make myself miserable. I am just so paranoid all the time, i just keep thinking that he will do the same as the others. I know that its not so much about me not trustig him, its more to do with me not having the faith and confidence in myself to know that i am good enough for him and he dosent want anyone else. Now im worrying about this message and what it was about and cant even approach him about it. What do i do?? And how can i stop these feelings of insecurity??Thankyou for taking the time to read my letter.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2005): Just ask him, ask him without mentioning the fone, if then he brings it up , asking if u read the message, say no, but ask him what the message said, if this guy is lying then he will already have an excuse lined up for that message on his fone, jst go for it, it could just be a misunderstanding, but you have to find out or it will just do the relationship no good!
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