A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I wonder if someone can read through this series of text messages and just give your unbiased opinion along the way of who is right and who is wrong or if we're both wrong (I know there is no right or wrong, but we just need someone to mediate this argument). We will accept the opinion of a third party and move on. It will be really helpful. I don't want to give more info so that you are not biased. Just what do you think of the way that these two people are communicating? What is wrong with it?From: Person 1Sent: Dec 31, 2009 11:31 PMGoing to sleep now. Goodnight.Happy New Year!Let me know tat everything is ok with Pirro.From: Person 2Sent: Jan 1, 2010 9:29 AMGoodnight. Happy New Year!!I'll let you know about Pirro when I'm home. I love you. 3From: Person 2Sent: Jan 1, 2010 12:37 AMJust got home, and Pirro is fine. He left a big mess in the kitchen, but nothing on the carpet for SpotBot.From: Person 2Sent: Jan 1, 2010 9:26 AMDid you get my messages last night?From: Person 1Sent: Jan 1, 2010 9:26 AMYesFrom: Person 1Sent: Jan 1, 2010 9:27 AMWhy?From: Person 1Sent: Jan 1, 2010 9:28 AMYou didn’t reply backFrom: Person 1Sent: Jan 1, 2010 9:28 AMTo what?From: Person 2Sent: Jan 1, 2010 9:29 AMGoodnight. Happy New Year!!I'll let you know about Pirro when I'm home. I love you. 3From: Person 1Sent: Jan 1, 2010 9:31 AMThat was a reply to my text in which I said goodnight so why would I reply?From: Person 2Sent: Jan 1, 2010 9:32 AMTo say “I love you” backFrom: Person 2Sent: Jan 1, 2010 9:30 AMJust got home, and Pirro is fine. He left a big mess in the kitchen, but nothing on the carpet for SpotBot.From: Person 1Sent: Jan 1, 2010 9:30 AMDidn’t I tell you an hour prior to that, that I was going to sleep?From: Person 2Sent: Jan 1, 2010 9:42 AMYes, I just thought you would reply this morning, so wanted to make sure you got it.From: Person 2Sent: Jan 1, 2010 9:42 AMI’m interpreting all these questions you are asking me about why I would ask if you got my messages as an indication that you are upset with me for asking that.So there is no misunderstanding. I was asking if you received my messages because I wanted to make sure you got them because if you didn’t, I didn’t want you to be upset with me for not responding to you last night. I don’t want anymore misunderstandings especially not now that we have worked things out and are trying to move forward.From: Person 2Sent: Jan 1, 2010 10:05 AMNo response.... Am I correct in interpreting this that you are upset? From: Person 1Sent: Jan 1, 2010 10:08 AMNFrom: Person 2Sent: Jan 1, 2010 10:13 AMDid you mean to write "no"? I don't understand one letter responses. From: Person 1Sent: Jan 1, 2010 10:14 AMYFrom: Person 2Sent: Jan 1, 2010 10:19 AMWill you please respond with full words. I don't like one letter abbreviations of words.I am trying to communicate with you in an honest and straightforward way. I do not want hidden hostilities which is what I interpret it to mean when you respond to me with one letter abbreviations. Will you please not do that anymore?From: Person 1Sent: Jan 1, 2010 10:20 AMOkFrom: Person 2Sent: Jan 1, 2010 10:50 AMDid you get my last message? The PINing network seems to be having trouble on my end.From: Person 1Sent: Jan 1, 2010 11:33 AMYesFrom: Person 2Sent: Jan 1, 2010 11:35 AMOk. Are you going to respond to it?From: Person 1Sent: Jan 1, 2010 11:36 AMTo what? I don't feel like arguing with you this morning.From: Person 2Sent: Jan 1, 2010 11:53 AMSo you are not going to respond to me?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, TintedMirror  +, writes (4 January 2010):
 Yes, outside parties often get it wrong. But honestly, most people misinterpret text messages all the time. Men and women already have problems communicating, new technology and text messages make the communication barrior between the genders even bigger. It's hard to depict moods and feelings in a text. So it's better not to try, and just call your signifigant other. Saves a lot of trouble in the future. To resolve the issue now, you have to drop the "i'm right and your wrong" attitude and just make up with her. No person involved is wrong. It's just a misunderstanding.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (4 January 2010):
I know what you mean about petty. I've a girlfriend and as I said, I didn't say goodnight once and she was really hurt. The thing with your text problem is this. If there are other problems, then the texting is actually irrelevant. There are obviously other problems If there are other problems, then Person 2 is feeling insecure, and Person 1 maybe needs to spend more time with person 2 and reassure him/her.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMost arguments sound petty to a 3rd party because they don't know the history behind it or the underlying problems. I know the question posted sounds like a petty argument but to these two people it is part of a much bigger problem that they are trying to address but need to understand how each of them sounds from an outsider's perspective.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2010): I don't think more info was needed. Everyone got it anyway. Both persons are being petty and starting a fight.
Do you know a very good way of shutting up an argument? Kiss each other.
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A
female
reader, supermum +, writes (4 January 2010):
 I think you both need to grow up. So a text wasnt replied to. Why is everyone getting so hostile over it? End the relationship, wait until you are mature enough to be IN a relationship, and find someone who is not so petty.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (4 January 2010):
It's just a small misunderstanding. Person 1 said he/she was going to sleep. Person 2 wanted a reply that didn't come. There's nothing wrong with asking about why there was no reply, and there was nothing wrong with Person 1 not replying. It's not big deal. I once didn't say goodnight to my girlfriend and got the silent treatment. So I said I was sorry. It happens. It's not a major issue, but it's becoming one because someone is making it one. Person 1 needs to say sorry to Person 2 for not replying. Person 2 needs to say sorry to person 1 for thinking it was some sort of attack. Then they need to move on.
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A
male
reader, paulofessex +, writes (4 January 2010):
 Life is to short to continue this petty agrument, as others has said....move on .
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A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (4 January 2010):
 Wow, Person 2 seems much too much like hard work to have to deal with on the morning of new years day.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI guess I need to give more info. The issue is that Person 1 didn't appreciate being questioned as to why they didn't reply to text messages sent overnight after Person 1 said they were going to sleep. Person 2 doesn't see anything wrong with asking why they didn't respond to the text messages Person 2 sent.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2010): Person 1 is a male, being mulish. Person 2 is female, being persistent and annoyingly correct.That is my assumption. Here is what I think.One of the persons need to drop this... Either person 1 says, "Of course I love you" and shuts up person 2 with a kiss! Or person 2 shuts up for a little while... she has dug herself into this logical hole so it is little difficult for her to climb out of it. Is person 1 an early riser and early communicator...9.26 am is bit early to follow up on last nights' message if person 1 is not really an early riser. Was he planning to respond but didn't cause he was nagged about it? Is there a history of communication issues?Basically person 1 needs to kiss person 2 and shut up about this!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (4 January 2010):
All that happened was someone's text got lost or someone didn't reply. there is no malice, or no hatred. It's just a mistake. So whoever is involved, say sorry to each other and that no hurt was meant, then move on.
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A
female
reader, TintedMirror +, writes (4 January 2010):
Wow. Ok...It seems that the main underline point here is that one person wanted the other to say "I love you, too." That is the only real issue. The other talk about, why didn't u respond and use full words and bedtime, none of that really matters. I think the person just wanted an I love you too, back. Sounds like they resked a lot letting the other person know they loved them, and waited all night til morning for an "I love you too". But never got it. Now person #2 is hurt and it just seems like person #1 is avoiding the issue of "i love you" because the argument changed focus to letters like "N" and "Y". Whats with that?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2010): it sounds as though this argument will just continue. Both people are trying to pick a fight? could this be that they didn't spend new years together? or am i misintepretating it too?
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