A
female
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anonymous
writes:Last year I was dumped for someone else. I was heartbroken and it took me months to get over it. I put a few posts on here and got really good advice, the best being that time will eventually heal the wounds. And it did, I got used to seeing my ex with someone else, stopped feeling so down and hurt all the time and started to get over him, very slowly. However, now I am fully over him and like other people but I just cannot get over the feeling of embarressment and shame of what I was like when it happened. Crying, begging him to come back to me, doing absolutley everything for him and he still treated me like dirt. All my friends, and his friends, saw how he was using me as a puppet but I just could not help myself. Now Im so angry that I allowed someone to treat me like that - and embarressed cos he must think Im a right walkover and no wonder he didnt have respect for me when I obviously didnt respect myself!!I know its taught me a lesson and I will never let a man do that to me again but how can I get away from these feelings of embarressment? I live in a small area, everyone knows what happened and saw me running around after him. It makes me feel so weak and im worried that everyone else thinks im weak too.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2006): I am presently in a break up now, I was with my ex for 6 years, it did not work with the new girl he left me for, but now he has a second gf, a second one in 2 months. It is
hearthbreaking and I am physically sick and have nightmares about it. Basically I totally understand how you felt and let me tell you that I try to restrain myself not to be too crazy over him because I could and want too because he is constantly in my mind.
Anyways I wanted to let you know that before this guy, I was going out with another guy who I begged for months, called all the time, asked to see him, had sex with, whatever you want I did it. He still remained patient because I believe he understood. And now, 8-10 years after we are the best of friends and he never puts me down over it. I think that no matter what your ex did or said to you, I know he understands, he loved you once upon a time and he knows that it was not intentionnal on your part. You don't make him look like a very nice person, and it's normal, he hurt you but know that some people become very harsh when trhey are annoyed by past lovers, not because they hate them. It was probably the best thing he did, being mean, because when they are too nice, you hold on for a long time. Anyways really, don't worry about it, it is fresh n your memory but it will fade and don't ever be ashamed, most people react like this, but not always openly. They act like this with their friends instead....
Now that he is out of your mind, don't let him have that against you, then you 'll feel that you have lost in every ways. Walk with your head straight, he will respect you and like I told you, he knows that behavior was done out of despair, some weak moment, not because you are a weak person. When you see him, give him a nice smie, look happy, this will make him very unstable and this will be the image he will remember ....
A
male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (15 September 2006):
 I agree with Camille. There is nothing you can do to take that back. In this case the good will outweigh the bad. People will see how strong you have become and notice the positives. They saw you at your lowest and now they admire the strength which you are displaying now. You are doing fine. Keep it up.
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A
female
reader, camille +, writes (15 September 2006):
 Trust me, forget about it. I'm sure they're not looking at you and saying "oh you remember how she used to be when he dumped her?". They probably understood to some degree as it's happened to more than just you. I have feelings of embarrassement from such things but you can't change them. Since you can't go back, just keep going forwards, you're doing ok now and that's what counts.
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