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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: hello every oneIm very scared of sex and felt that i would not get married , because i cant take my clothes off in front of my husband and made him touch me , then i feel disgusted of the sez,, knowing that my mother does not speak to me about sex when i try to ask her she feel ashamed,,may be i will marry after a year i dont know if im ready 2 marry or i need a doctor ,,,what can i do to my fear of the body of the man and his violence and sexual pain associated break the hymen,,i feel so scare when i think that i will have sex one dayNote:i has been subjected to sexual harassment when I was a child ,is this caused me a fear of sexi need a help please thank u
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female
reader, EbonyBlossom  +, writes (18 June 2010):
 Your past has almost certainly caused your fear of sex. You spoke of how it is related to a man's violence and pain you feel. That isn't what sex is about, but you associate all of these things because of your experience. A man who loves you isn't gonna hurt you. Sex is supposed to be about pleasure and heightened emotions. It doesn't help that your mum won't talk about it because her being ashamed is making you feel like you should be ashamed, and it shouldn't. Ask your mum why she is ashamed, maybe she had a bad experience too? But once a guy is in love with you, he doesn't care what figure you have or how you like it because he just wants to give you pleasure. Open up and you'll soon find yourself in a relationship, and tell the guy about your past experience and how you need help learning to enjoy sex.
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (18 June 2010):
 I think you know the answer but do remember if you see a doctor and mention the previous abuse he is obligated to report it. Just be strong and march on The world needs to rid itself of those folks and you'll be a stronger women because of it. Here's to you young women!
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A
male
reader, lonerstranger21  +, writes (18 June 2010):
Hi!.. I really think that's because of your past violent experience. But if your are to be married, you must confess that to your partner, so he would understand why are you behaving that way, being married is not like being with a partner on one house, sex life is really a thing there. Some couples have bad times, or a failed relationship because of the poor sex life.think about the future, how could you have a daughter or a son if you have that sexual problem. I suggest you should confess the past experience to him, if he loves you, he would help and understand you. Then go to a psychiatrist or an specialist or someone professional to help you with your phobia I think, you should be with your husband when you visit a medical professional. Goodluck!
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