A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been in a serious relationship for almost four years now with my boyfriend and loved every minute except the sex part. I was a 15 year old Freshman dating a 17 year old Junior in high school. Now I'm graduated and at college with him, but it seems I have lost that "spark". Since he is my first love and well my "first" I think that might be bothering me. I want to be able to go out and meet new people, but at the same time I have a love for him that I can't ever let go. I can see me marrying and having beautiful children with him but scared I will always wonder what else was out there. I'm only 19 years old and a very sexual person, but when it comes to cuddling, kissing, sex, etc I feel awkward. I love him and every minute spent with him because he is my best friend and I don't believe sex should be the reason I should leave and at the same time I can't enjoy sexual moments at all. I avoid them so that I don't keep feeling confused about my future. I'm still attracted and want him but I have tried everything in me to make it work! I have talked to a lot of people about this and most would say it's a phase or mostly a change in what I want in life. I have grown out of that 15 year old crush feeling and there isn't anything I can do, but be the grown woman I am now and deal with it. They will tell me that the first love will always be in my heart, but if I'm not happy then time will heal. I'm scared I will never find anyone that loves me the way he does and wondering if I should just continue the miserable feeling in hopes this will pass, but its been a year of this and I don't want to make the pain worse, but I don't want to lose him either. Everyone will say if its meant to be then we'll be together again, but the past month we tried a "break" and it hurts like hell because he is so mean about my confusion and I do miss him, then we hang and it feels right but it gets awkward when we try for those passionate feelings. Is all this normal? Anyone else been through this that can explain why this is happening? Should I forget and take the chance of regret?
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female
reader, YourDestiny11 +, writes (13 October 2009):
 This is completely normal! Sorry to say hun but this is why high school sweethearts never usually make it! You deffinately need to take a break and experience before its to late! He needs to learn to understand what your going through...if he truly loves you, he will or at least try to! Its going to be hard but you dont want to live the rest of your life wondering why and having regret! Good luck!
A
female
reader, marriedchick  +, writes (13 October 2009):
 the best advice i can give you is to talk to him and ask for a break. In order for this relationship to work you would have to experience other people this will give you time to decide what you really want. loosen up and do what your heart tells you if it is meant to be your first love will find its way back, if not then trust me it must be someone else out there waiting for you. Take it from someone who has experienced it; you always get over it!
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