A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So... Two and a half months ago my ex dumped me out of the blue no clear warning signs no nothing, just the explaination of I don't see it lasting! We'd been together btw prior to this ten months and he'd promised me basically the world telling me time would prove he'd stay with me etc, etc anyway I found out recently that since me there has been another girl who he works with and I work with as we all work together! Who he got with 3 weeks after me and him split up 'apparently' anyway the girl told me this herself as she's been really hurt by him, he slept with her several times told her he had reservations not wanting to hurt people and now bam he is with someone else and said to the girl that he's really sorry but basically the new girl is the one!?! It really angers me to see him hurting people like this! The girl I work with had only ever slept with one other person and was only 17 he's 24! Should I tell him what I think of him? Or just leave it!? Either way I don't really care about him anymore but feel someone needs to say something!?!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2013): You don't like this guy but most of what he has done is just bailing out of relationships when they get serious. That isn't exactly the biggest crime a guy could commit.
If the 17yo girl got used then Im sorry but it was her own fault for ignoring common sense. A 24yo guy chasing a 17yo girl is guilty of being a player until proven innocent.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (22 August 2013):
 You don't care about him... so then why are you even up to date on what he's doing...
even if someone needs to tell him what a jerk he is... it's NOT YOUR PLACE...
you need to let it go and walk away for yourself.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (22 August 2013):
 Sometimes, in life, we face instances such as this.... and, when we do so, it's best to say (to yourself): "What good could or would come from doing ANYTHING about and with these two? Shouldn't I just conserve my mental energy and focus it elsewhere,... now and forever moving forward?"
That's what I recommend that you do.
Good luck..
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (22 August 2013):
 If you try talking to him and telling him he's hurting people then you will just look like you are jealous and bitter, and that will give him so much satisfaction that he will ignore everything you say and instead go bragging to his friends about how none of his ex's can get over him and how he's such a player that he's leaving girls trailing in his wake who are heartbroken over him.
So unless you want to make it seem like you still love him and are jealous of him with other girls, then dont say a word.
Yes he is a jerk and playing loads of girls, its not cool but equally the girls are allowing him to play them. This 17 year old for example, she should know better than sleeping with older guys right away. And if she didnt realise that sleeping with a guy so quickly leads to them leaving (which 9 times out of 10 it does) then she has learnt the hard way and wont do it again.
Most men are like him, they sleep with a girl because its easy (the girl gives in to sex on the 1st or 2nd date), and because she is so easy he no longer sees her as relationship potential. He might lie a bit and tell her he likes her etc to keep her sweet, but he's already put her in the 'sex only' box and will keep having sex with her until something better comes along.
Yes he hurt you too for different reasons, but if he decided that he didnt see a future with you at least he was honest and told you. At least he broke up with you after 10 months rather than letting it carry on for years and cheating on you behind your back. I know that doesnt lessen the pain but he decided you were not right for his future and he was honest, that actually is quite commendable. You cant have a go at him for being honest with you.
So the only person he has done 'wrong' by in this situation is the 17 year old, and a lot of that was her own fault due to her immaturity, some girls are just so naieve that they think sleeping with a guy means he will like her more, when in fact it does that opposite. I know its horrible but she has just learnt an important lesson the hard way - dont allow older men to take advantage of you, and dont sleep with a guy unless you've been with him at least a month and know he's serious about you.
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A
female
reader, Aunty Babbit +, writes (22 August 2013):
 I understand your hurt and anger and it's totally justified but do you really think that your ex is going to take any notice of your views on his behaviour or treatment of women?
No, this guy fancies himself as a player and is doing the rounds. What can you do about? Nothing really, unless you want the added humiliation of him laughing in your face.
I know that must be really frustrating for you but try to rise above this. Talk to this young girl, maybe you can become friends following your mutual experiences.
I don't believe this idiot has any conscience at all and you, my dear, have had a lucky escape.
Talking about this (to friends) is good for you though and in time this anger will lessen.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2013): sure, yes, tell him how low down his behavior is. But just don't expect him to 'see the light' and change, people like him rarely do.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (22 August 2013):
 you can say your peace if you would like, but if it were me, i'd just leave it be. it's just not worth it and i think you should just turn and walk away from this guy and not look back.
good luck.
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