A
male
age
36-40,
*enfold
writes:A question for the guys out there (girls are welcome to answer)If you pursue a girl you like, probably a few people will be hurt. If you let someone pursue the girl you like, only you will be hurt.So. To pursue or not to pursue? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (11 May 2010):
 I agree with Caring Guy - if this girl is a good friend to your ex then she would not go anywhere near you!
Its up to you what you want to do in this situation - you could tell her how you feel and see what she has to say, but be prepared for her to pick her friendship with your ex over you. If you leave it be, well its not really the end of the world as there are plenty more girls out there! Maybe widen your friendship group a bit so you are not trying to date all of your ex's friends?!
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (11 May 2010):
Your ex is your ex, and that's it. You can't sit there worrying about your ex. Yes, she will get hurt. But she will get over it. However, you might be setting yourself up for a bit of heartache if you pursue her friend. Her friend may be a very loyal one. And usually there's a 'no seeing a friend's ex' rule. So unless she's willing to sacrifice her friendship, you're setting yourself up for failure.
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A
male
reader, tenfold +, writes (11 May 2010):
tenfold is verified as being by the original poster of the questionlets say the situation is like that:
if u pursue her, probably your ex will get hurt(since its just a few months after your breakup). Then probably their friendship will get hurt (your ex and this girl are close friends)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2010): Pursue her, one of the other posters has said "All's fair in love and war" and it's true, essentially, if you and other people are going after her, let her decide, don't take yourself out of the running!
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A
male
reader, TimmD  +, writes (10 May 2010):
 Are you saying if you pursue this girl other people will be hurt by it? (friends of yours who also like her?) But if you stay quiet and don't pursue only you will know the pain of not having her?
My advice: All is fair in love and war. If she is not already in a relationship then you have just as much right to be happy as anybody else. Let her decide who she can be with and who she doesn't want.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (10 May 2010):
Maybe you could explain why if you pursue the girl you like, a few people will get hurt? That makes no sense to me at the moment!
I mean if the girl is single, and you are single - then no-one will get hurt (aside from you if she rejects you maybe) so you might as well just pursue her if you like her, and if she has given some indication she likes you too.
I have no idea why you would choose to sit back and watch someone else go after her if you like her - unless you have some valid reason that you are just not telling us then this seems very foolish!
Basically if you like someone who is single and it is not illegal to be with her for whatever reason, then there is nothing stopping you from pursuing her apart from your own fears. So you either need to get over your fears and be brave and ask her out - or resign yourself to a life of being alone and afraid to ever speak to a woman you like.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (10 May 2010):
If she is single, and you want her, then pursue her.
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