A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I think I want a baby, I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now. we get on well some of the time and we have discussed it before. how do I know if its right or not? Im nearly 19 and he is 28.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2007): for the love of all things sacred, do NOT DO THIS. I understand how you feel - I was in your shoes 10 years ago. Once I got pregnant, the love of my life who I trusted so (and I am a doctor now, no dummy) left me and my life was altered forever and I endured years of pain and complications as my future almost slipped into dust.
A
female
reader, smoooches0814  +, writes (27 September 2007):
 He'll come around. He's probably afraid right now. Even tho the two of you have been together for 2 years, having a baby is a big step and a lot of responsibilty. Not to mention if you ever break up, you would still have to be apart of each other's lives at least until the child is 18. This reminds men of commitment. 2 years is nothing compared to a lifetime. Its not an easy decision to make. Youre only 19. I am too and I have thought about this. Think about it this way, if you have a baby with him, and you two end up not working out, you will be most likely the one stuck with the baby. What if he bails on you? Think about all these things before considering such a major change in your life, because once you have a baby, its not about you anymore, its about BOTH of you. Good luck!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2007): How about your boyfriend idea? And I don't think you have a good consideration, I agree with Uncle_Phil, how about the age gap relationship between you and your boyfriend or husband? This is the point. And you can get some good advice from expert sites such as Agelesslove.com, Agematch.com and etc.
Also, in my opinion, you are too young to have a baby, may be you can delay the time.
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A
female
reader, penta +, writes (27 September 2007):
 Marriage is more than an old-fashioned idea. It's a contract that has legal protections for you and any children. Should anything bad happen (not just breakups, but also death of you or your BF) the marriage laws protect you.
Please consider putting marriage before having children. Or at least see a lawyer about getting the legal protections for you and any children in place, if you choose not to get married first. If you're thinking about children, you have to think about providing for them in any contingency.
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (27 September 2007):
 If you have to ask at all, then you are not ready.
So, No, you should not have a baby.
-Frank B Kermit
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2007): This is something you simply HAVE to decide together.
If it's a very strong loving relationship I don't see why not. But if you only get on well together SOME of the time, I'd hold back for a while until the relationship stabilises - there's a chance it might dissolve.
A baby is absolutely for the whole of your lifetime and is a major step in any relationship.
As you're having to ask the question, and you only think you want a baby, I can tell you unequivocally that the time is definitely NOT right. You'll know when it is - and your ages don't have too much of a bearing in the decision process, particularly as the age difference is only 9 years.
Phil
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A
female
reader, Emmajane  +, writes (26 September 2007):
 Get on well SOME of the time? You THINK you want a baby? Honey, you've a load of time ahead to have babies. At present you need to concentrate on enjoying life and certainly you need to wait till you have a permanent relationship based on love, as your baby, when you have one, will live for over 80 years and needs it's father and mother to be there for the first 50 or so years!
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A
female
reader, superbunny +, writes (26 September 2007):
 In my opnion, no. You're still very young and as in love as you are, that may change a couple of years down the line and it'll be an exceptionally messy break-up if a child is involved, but that's just my opinion. x
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A
female
reader, sazra +, writes (26 September 2007):
Please do not rush into anything!! I don't mean to sound patronizing but you will know when you are ready. I'm 20 and I have already seen so many of my friends ruin their lives by having kids too young, only one of them is still with the father. And what is "we get on well some of the time" about? If you two are fighting a lot now imagine throwing a baby into the mix!! Talk to as many people as you can, friends who have kids, friends who don't. Good luck with whichever decision you make :)
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