A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I really dont like my boyfriends family for so many reasons. I find them tactless and kinda low class. I was willing to look past that and always did (Im not really a judgmental person), furthermore I liked HIM, nobodys family is perfect, but it all really started to annoy me when on top of that his mom started incessantly meddling in our relationship. And not even in a helpful way but in a spiteful, intrusive way. Her and I have exchanged a few words because I believe in standing up for myself when someone is being out of line and unfair. And I thought she was way out of line when she was constantly harrassing my boyfriend about his relationship with me. Telling him to dump me when I lost my job and was briefly between jobs. Even making up stuff about me, saying Im just using him. Im an educated, independent, self sufficient woman from a pretty affluent family, her allegations are so absurd! My boyfriend is kind of a wimp and doesnt stand up to them. But when my character was being questioned and twisted around by his delusional mother, I stood up for myself. Shes so immature and lame that after that she told my boyfriend I am no longer welcome at their home. It sorta bothers me and it sorta doesnt. I would be perfectly happy if I never had to associate with those people again. But I feel bad because they are his family. And I am conflicted. He doesnt seem to mind that there is a riff between his family and I. And at first that bothered me because I wanted him to stand up for me and say, "This is my woman, you will accept her." But they won't. We've continued dating, they know we are dating, and they still will not accept me. I find that so childish and selfish. Like I said, theyre not too tactful or bright. She's so passive-aggressive and immature that she recently made a facebook account and added as her friends all his ex girlfriends. Of course, she didn't reach out to me at all. And I'm the only woman her son loves...its so weird...Its behavior like this that makes me happy that I have no association with her anymore. And theres nothing he can do to change his 60 yr old mom, and her passive aggressive antics are clearly something I do not want to deal with. Is it stupid for me to feel that there really is nothing he can do about it? Cause thats how I feel at this point. His mom is a nightmare, and there really is no getting through to her. Or is there really something he could do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2013): Didn't mean to offend you angel. I guess "low class" is a loose term. I dont care about money and wasnt even referring to that. Could care less if they were rich or poor. Its more about their view on things. The way they react to situations. The things they say. My family is just very different. All my ex boyfriends families were different too, probably more like my own.
Maybe I could've worded it differently. They are petty, immature and just not nice people, put it that way. In any case, thanks for the responses.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2013): There's nothing he can do. Do you really think that he can change his mother's mind? Do you think that if only he were to stand up for you, that she would stop being mean to you? No, she will continue to think and do however she wants. Do you want there to be conflict between your bf and his mom if it's "in the name" of him standing up for you? The idea is nice because it feels like you have his loyalty but in reality what good does that do? It means that (a) they will hate you even more because now their son has 'turned against them', or (b) he becomes estranged from his family, and how is that better for you in any way when there are already options for you to do (such as simply avoiding them) that don't involve him having to get into conflict with people he isn't currently in conflict with? you are right to stand up for yourself, and I think you should continue to do that and to simply avoid having your paths ever cross with theirs. Don't join him when he sees his family. If they come to visit, make yourself scarce. There's no rule that says you must spend time with people you dislike and who dislike you. but I think there's nothing he can do, it simply not in his power. if he were to stand up for you it will not change his family's mind it will only reinforce how much they dislike you. It will also put him in a difficult position where there is nothing to gain for anyone. "I would be perfectly happy if I never had to associate with those people again. "Then, don't."But I feel bad because they are his family. "So? they are HIS family, not yours. Even if you and him were to marry, there's no rule that says now you have to spend time with them or have any relationship with them. You choose who you have relationships with.
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A
female
reader, angelloveforever +, writes (4 May 2013):
 ok they way u started off kinda upset me.... the reason he wont stand up to them is because he is low class... i am also low class and we would rather keep peace then war
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