A
female
age
30-35,
*rincess166
writes:I've been dating a guy in a band for a few months now, he is incredibly sweet and treats me well but the last few days have confusing. We see each other evey weekend and during the week.When his band usually plays a show, he takes me along, makes sure I get in the venue and texts me right after he plays so he can find me. Even when it gets hectic he makes an effort to stay by my side and hang with me.The other night though, he left me waiting outside while his band was playing (I had to pay to get in, which I don't mind, the fact that he left without saying a word bothered me) after his band finished playing he disappeared for an hour till I texted him asking where he was he didn't reply. I saw him outside checking his phone and continued chatting with friends. He kept disappearing in and out of the venue to buy beer and didn't see him until the end of the night. He was drunk, ranting at how bad he played and was restless.The next day he texted me in the morning to apologize about his behaviour, how he tried to take a day work to take me out but he couldn't and said he was sad.I said it was ok, but I felt like he was avoiding me the whole night left me waiting outside and I wanted to see him before he left for tour and when I texted him I got no reply (this annoys me because he is always on his phone, texting me to say he is busy would take a second). He said yeah shows are such a rush and that he apologized for forgetting to let me get in, he said sorry and said he felt like a dick about it (he assumed his bandmate put my name on the door and that I would know?). I find this strange since every show is a rush and he usually never ever treats me this way, no matter how hectic it gets. He then texted me saying he wanted me to come with him to their last show before they left for tour the next day. I agreed, saying I would come if he wanted me to.I didn't hear from him until 5pm (the show started at 6)And msged me saying his mum was in town and wanted to chill with her. And said he wanted to hang with me when he got back.I didn't text him back as I was upset, was all dressed up and felt like he lied since how can he spend time with his mum when he had to play a show? I knew his mum was in town but this was sketchy.Then tonight he msged me while on tour saying he wishes I could fly over to visit him and that he missed me.The question is, is he taking me for granted? Should I text him back or wait till he realizes what he did was wrong? What am I doing wrong? What should I do?
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (11 December 2009):
So he had a bad night and just before a majorly stressful tour he let his admin slip?
You could cut the guy some slack. He can't be perfect all the time and he's apologised.
He's away and probably surrounded by temptation and he's taken time to text you to say he wishes you were there. If he was taking your for granted he'd be not texting you and concentrating on getting drunk with a lot of pretty girls.
Just out of interest how have you been working on being supportive of him when he's got this big break?
Good Luck!! xx
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