A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am just crazy about this guy and he is a genuinely wonderful person. I've thought in the past that he may be interested in me - I don't really know, but I am trying to figure out if he is worth pursuing or not for a couple of reasons.First reason is that he's a very strong Christian and I'm not religious. This isn't a problem for me, but it very well could be for him. I think he may assume that I am a Christian too (a lot of people assume this, and I am not sure why) and I don't know how to bring it up without being completely awkward. "Oh, hey, in case you were thinking about liking me, you better not because I'm not a Christian." I don't think so. Second reason is that he's kind of a big flirt, in a very polite, gallant, nice-Christian-guy kind of way. (I promise this would make sense if you met him.) He isn't a player, he's just got charm up the wazoo and knows how to use it. He seems to like female attention a lot (big ego, maybe?) and he's got a million female friends. He's also touchy-feely and is always hugging these friends (moi included) or has his arm around them or whatever. While I don't think there's anything wrong with this per se, since he's just as polite as can be about it and makes sure a person is okay with it before he hugs them or whatever, my personal inclination is to be much more reserved around people; I don't hang out with or hug tons of guys and I'd probably prefer a significant other to be the same way - a lot more reserved and less of a "ladies' man." So, even though I am crazy about this guy and we do have a lot in common, I think maybe I ought to try to get over my crush... What do you think about these factors? Put together, should they be enough to be a deal-breaker?
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2012): As for being a Christan, I am a Christian and I am happily with a man who is an athiest. We respect each others beliefs and won;t let it be an issue. Why not just ask him if he would ever be involved with someone who wasn't Christian, out of curiosity. As for being touchy feely, each person is different, but I would bet if you were a couple and he knew that you weren't comfortable with him doing that, he would make an effort to tone down this side of his behaviour. I don;t think these are enough to be deal-breakers at all, that's just my opinion though.
A
female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (31 December 2011):
 Maybe the best thing to do is ask him out. Go for coffee or dessert at a sexy little bistro and then get to know him when he's away from his audience. You may see more to him than you have before. I also think you should be honest with him about your beliefs or the lack of. If he acts cool toward you after that, that's a sign he doesn't want to be unevenly yoked with someone who does not share his faith. If he seems okay with it then just be yourself and try to get to know. It'll be intersting to see if the man has any substance when you get him alone, if he's just a player who hides behind the label of Christian so he can be flirty and women will think he's harmless.
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