A
female
age
36-40,
*_maldita
writes:My bf and I have been in this situation for few months and we are still fixing it. Well the problem is neither of us wants to give way and compromise. He has been rude to me lately and out of my anger in return I'm being stubborn and don't listen to him anymore. We have tried ending our relationship since last year but until now we can't end it. If I quit talking to him he will call me and ask for another chance and if he stops talking to me I'd also call him up and get back to him. It seems like nobody wants to give up but we are both hurting inside. I always tell him that I love him and I can't survive without him but he told me that he hates me because and selfish and self centered. I've tried everything to fit in his shoes but nothing since enough. But his friends told me that he still loves me just don't know how to show it... It's making me crazy, I need a clear view if I should try and fix it or just let it go and move on??? Honestly just thinking of losing him makes my heart bleeds.. But he still tells me he will give me another chance to make it up to him I just need to do as he wants and I think I'm not ready... but I'm also not ready to give up on us!!!
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female
reader, a_maldita +, writes (26 June 2011):
a_maldita is verified as being by the original poster of the question Last night I talked to him and tried breaking up with him but I can't make up my mind.... I've been trying so hard to tell myself it's over but it keep coming back. We had good time talking over the phone last night seems like we get along fine and he promise to visit me this weekend. But I'm not sure if this is for long or just temporary. Non of us wants to give up maybe we still love each other after all but we need to work on our temper and be more patient with each other. Yeah and to "TasteofIndia" I should take your advice that I shouldn't survive for him but for myself...
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (26 June 2011):
 I think you need to give it up and just move on. You shouldn't need some guy to "survive". I would never tell my husband I need him to survive, because I don't! I love him, and he's fantastic, but I have not given myself over to him, body, mind, spirit and soul. I still have a fulfilling sense of me beyond him. He is not the root of my survival. I am. He's simply an excellent friend, love, to go on the journey of life with. Plus, he's cute. :)
I digress. You should also not be with a guy who EVER, EVER says that he hates you and calls you terrible names like selfish and self-centered. That's not cool! That doesn't show love, that shows a defensive, weak man who can't talk or compromise - only throw nasty names around to knock your self-esteem and take you down. That isn't to say that you're without spots on your record... refusing to listen can be hurtful too. But if you refuse to listen because he calls you names and says hateful stuff - well, maybe it's better that you shut off your ears for that.
It's been too long with this icky communication and lack of compromise. You'll just keep fighting this fight over and over again. I think you need to move on even though it's so difficult to do. You have gotten an unhealthy attachment to him. You need to remember that you can be independent and survive without this one guy. I think you should move on, sweet thing! Good luck!
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A
female
reader, a_maldita +, writes (25 June 2011):
a_maldita is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes U guess so... It been like a week since I haven't talk to him then! He tried calling me but I fear that if I did I'll gave in to him again and this wont ever stop... somebody needs to make the move or else will be stuck being together and not getting along.. But I really appreciate your advice! thanks a lot!!!
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