A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone. I'm sorry to bother you all but I've got myself into a difficult situation. I'm 17 (18 in 2 months) and I just found out that I'm 29 weeks pregnant. I was really experiencing any symptoms which is why I never found out earlier. The problem is that my baby's father (who is 19) and I are no longer very close. We broke up about 4 and a half months ago. He is now seeing someone else and they seem really happy together. We don't speak often. I want to tell him about our child because he has a right to know and my baby has a right to know his/her father but I don't want to ruin things for him. Should I tell him about our baby? Thank you all so much for reading.
View related questions:
broke up Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (9 April 2011):
 He has every right to know. I don't think it's fair down the road to ask for child support when he had no clue. Do it in person. Not over a text or Facebook.
A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (9 April 2011):
 I also think you should tell him.
Do it discreetly, and kindly, and fairly, and in a decent way. Explain as you have here - that you don't want to ruin his happiness, but you felt he should know, and that the baby should know his/her father. That part is really important.
Hopefully he will appreciate your honesty and decency. Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, Ima FreAk! +, writes (8 April 2011):
 Hiyaaaa,Yes you should tell him because sooner or later he will find out from other people and it's gonna blow up.Honestly I think you should tell him and his current girlfriend too. I know it seems weird but at least you can be honest because sooner or later the guy girlfriend is gonna find out so either way you should tell them both because it's best not to hide secrets.So tell himmmmmmm because once the baby is born and doesn't know who the father is, it's pretty sad (been watching to much Maury and Jeremy Kyle loooooool)!Hope my advice helps!Good luck and keep updates!Lots of love,Ima FreAk!x
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2011): Tell him. It's not a go thing that your baby would wonder all his/her life who hiis/her father is. But to warn you since its been 4 months he's going to want a DNA test and he's going to excuse of things you probably didn't even do.But, you should tell him.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2011): go ahead and tell him! just don't expect him to believe you. you are almost 7 months in, and frankly - with all the time that has passed, he probably will doubt that the child is his. be prepared to deal with the eventuality of potential paternity tests. so don't be pushy - but give him the facts. he deserves to know the truth.
...............................
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (8 April 2011):
 I also think you should tell him. Just don't expect his reaction to be a good one. Still, he needs to know about his child.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2011): Yes tell him. You both created this baby and you both need to be involved, so give him the chance. Tell him your not out to destroy his new relationship you just want to be able to give this baby the best life possible. You guys can work together as friends and as parents if you do things right. He can still have a girlfriend and you can still have whatever you want if both are adults about it. If he doesn't want anything to do with it then thats a different story. He will be paying you child support. I'm sure he would want to know about his child. Good luck
...............................
A
female
reader, Adorskable  +, writes (8 April 2011):
 Best thing is for you to tell him he is going to be a father. He has a right to know and your child has the right to have his/her father involve in its life.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2011): Put it this way, when you baby gets older and wants to know who its father is, why he's not around. Wouldn't it be best to be able to say to your child that you made an effort and contacted the father and made him aware of the fact that he has a child. This cover your own ass when the child may ask questions.Also your number one priority now is going to be your baby, forget about how this would affect the fathers life, there was two of you in it and your baby needs a father.Plus he has a right to know, it'll be up to him how involved he wants to be, but at least you can say to your child you gave him the option.Hope this helps you.PS; I think your very brave and I wish you all the best.x
...............................
A
female
reader, annakat +, writes (8 April 2011):
 I think you should tell him. I personally would never force someone to be involved in their child's life if that wasn't their personal choice, but I would definitely let them know they have a child coming into the world. It seems like you're happy for him being with someone else and that you aren't interested in you two getting back together, so I would just advise that you be prepared to raise your baby mostly on your own (unless he'd be willing to help). But I think it's very important to let him know. Good luck with whatever happens and congratulations.
...............................
A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (8 April 2011):
 As selfless as you think you are being, it would be best if you told him so that he can make a choice. He is still the father after all and he may or may not be all too willing to get involved but at least you would have told him and at least you would have tried. You cannot go through this alone.
I hope that helps.
...............................
A
male
reader, Welsh Uncle Dave +, writes (8 April 2011):
You've answered your own question. He has a right to know and so does the baby later on in life.I understand you don't want to ruin things for him in his current relationship, but you need to tell him.
...............................
|
