A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and i are both 18 . Last night i had a miscarriage should i tell him? I didn't even know i was pregnant . And i don't want to freak him out . By bringing up a baby and stuff . But should he know ? I was probably around 4 weeks maybe 5 i had no idea but i was scared and looked it up and found out it was a miscarriage so we've only been together 2 months so i don't want to make him panic . We were talking for a long time before he made me his girl , but now that were official we have sex always with condom but i recall a few times without a condom but he always tried to pull out but that was dumb of us
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (19 August 2013):
 If you think you had a miscarriage you REALLY need to go see a doctor. Bits left behind can cause all kind of health problems.
And while you are at the doctors get on birth-control.
Having a pregnancy scare is never fun, but hopefully it will make YOU think twice and practice safe sex.
If the doctor confirms that you had a miscarriage then yes, I would tell him, HE NEEDS to not slack on condoms either. Pull out method is NOT at all safe sex.
If you are on depo then it's WAY more likely that the birth-control made you spot them you had a miscarriage.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2013): I'm sure it was a miscarriage , i was spotting before than days later on my pad was a baby sack creme looking with blood , i looked up how miscariages look it looked just like that , and right now im still bleeding . But should i tell him ?
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (19 August 2013):
 I'll be honest with you, I doubt you had a miscarriage. On the pill AND using condoms, it would be highly, highly, highly unlikely you were pregnant. The symptoms of a miscarriage overlap a lot with a bad period. If you think you've had one, go to a doctor to be checked out. They can tell you for sure and also make sure you aren't susceptible to infections (if not everything is out, you can have one). I'd wait until the doctor lets you know for sure before you tell him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2013): I've been on the shot but i just started spotting i just knew and felt like if was failing , i don't know what went wrong
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A
female
reader, Got Issues  +, writes (19 August 2013):
 First of all, you self-diagnosed using the internet, so you can't be completely sure that it was a miscarriage. You should go and see your doctor and tell him/her what happened and get checked out. Let's assume it was a miscarriage for now.
You should definitely tell him, with the aim of making him panic. Hopefully this has freaked you out enough to make you think about going on birth control, and hopefully it will freak him out enough to make him always wear a condom, rather than relying on pulling out, which you should both know from sex ed is not a reliable method of BC.
Contraception is easy and effective. I don't know about the USA but in Britain it is also free. There is no excuse not to use it. Too many children are born to couples who are too irresponsible to use it. You shouldn't be getting pregnant aged 18, two months into your relationship, in a country where birth control is accessible.
You say you and your boyfriend talked a lot before you got together. Now you have something else important that you need to speak about. If you decide to have sex then you need to be able to deal with the consequences.
I'm sorry that you had to go through a miscarriage, that must have been scary and unpleasant, but that was your warning. You have a second chance not to become a teen mother struggling to make things work. Take it. Make something of your life, don't just become a statistic.
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