A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have graduated from college and have known one of my profs for about five years now. We've really hit it off and become good friends, but now I think it's becoming something more.When I was his student, he would pick on me in front of the class, call me names, every now and then pat me on the back quickly and sometimes blush when talking to me. I admit I had a crush on him while his student but never acted on it since I was his teacher and I didn't want him to get into trouble. We saw each other a lot last summer and this is when I thought his actions were become too friendly for a friendship, if you know what I mean. I was helping him with something in his classroom. I could see him looking at me out of the corner of my eye, then when I'd turn to him, he'd look away. We'd keep constant eye contact when talking and sometimes he would blush when talking to me.The last time I saw him was around Christmas when we met for lunch. We kept the constant eye contact for the majority of the 2+ hrs. we were together. We talked and laughed a lot and frankly enjoyed each other's company. One time (he was leaning forward on the table) he stopped talking and we gazed in each other's eyes for several seconds. Nothing like that has ever happened to us before. It felt wonderful and odd at the same time. Finally, he broke the contact and looked down with an embarrassed-looking smile on his face. When he was taking me home he said the next time I'm in town (I live several states away and won't be home until the summer) we can just meet at his house. That sounded very unusual from him since he is very shy and never that open.I'm thinking of asking him to visit me for a few days during his school's Easter break. Do you think that's a good idea? The only problem is I live in an efficiency apartment where the living room and bedroom are the same room. I only have one bed - single size where only one person can fit in it, but was thinking I'd give him the bed and I'd sleep on the couch.I just cannot stop thinking about him. Do you think this type of relationship can work (teacher/student)? I have absolutely no problem with the age difference (I'm in my mid-20s and I'm guessing he's around 50) since we get along so well. Should I tell him how I feel? My only concern is that I'd tell him, he won't feel the same way, and it would ruin our friendship, which I value deeply. Any advice would be great. Thanks!
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female
reader, PunkyPippi +, writes (23 January 2009):
 Well, I admire BOTH of you for not doing anything foolish while you were in a student/teacher relationship.
It sounds like he has feeling for you, and if he accepts your invitation, there's not doubt in my mind that he does.
Go for it!!!
A
female
reader, RunsWithScissors +, writes (23 January 2009):
You are no longer teacher/student since you are now graduated. You have to see yourself on an even level with him now, and certainly so for any relationship to work. And if what you say is true, then trust me, he likes you and has feelings for you. I wouldn't worry about him not returning your affection. When you see him next and one of those intimate moments happen just ask him, "So where do we go from here? I like you and you seem to like me, am I right in my assessment?" You'll be surprised how easy it is to say and then how easy things will get after that, you will have addressed the elephant in the room and broken the ice, and that will be a relief to both of you!As far as it working, yes, I think it can work so long as you have the same goals in life. Do you want children someday? How does he feel about that at his age? Do you want to live in his state or stay in yours? How does he feel about moving if you don't want to live in his state? Be honest with yourself about what YOU want, then if he does not want the same don't change just to have this relationship or you will someday resent having given up your hopes and dreams. There will be plenty of people in your life you will be attracted to, so if you don't have the same goals don't be afraid to move on. If you do have the same goals...great, explore this relationship and see where it can go.
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