A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:LEASE HELP ME............I am very attracted to a man i met at my son s school our kids are friends. I am married and i love my husband but i don t think i am still in love with him. I saw this other man all the time on and off at the school and i always felt uncomfortable when he looked at me. He seems very shy too. He asked me to come to his house one night with my son but i went alone (i told him i was alone that night but he told me to stop by anyway) as my child was already invited somewhere else....it was great and he asked me if it was my husband that he saw with me once i said yes but it s complicated right now.......since then i saw him twice and he seems distant not the same. But i caught him looking at me a few time, when we wnt outside he went to get me one of his jacket because i was cold and at the end when i was leaving he handed me my coat but his hands were shacking .i don t know what to read into all that and what to do. I forgot to say that He is in a middle of a divorce.I want to tell him my feelings for him and just tell him that the more i am around him the more i am attracted to him.....what should i do? please help me it is so hard to keep everything to myself :(Do you think he likes me?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2010): I think you should put a moratorium on seeing this guy and very closely examine your marriage. Decide what to do about your marriage before you decide what to do about this other guy. That would be the least messy way to resolve your situation. having NOT done what I'm advising, I can say this with certainly. Not resolving my troubled marriage (desperately wanted to leave but was trapped for fear of what divorce upheaval would do to the kids) before getting involved with someone new led to the worst period of depression in my life that I have ever experienced. Marriages should be fulfilling. If not, then something is wrong. Is there something deeply wrong with your marriage that you are so vulnerable in seeking fulfillment outside of it? If yes, then you have two choices: either do not continue further with this guy and instead work on strengthening your marriage. Or, end your marriage because it is unfulfilling and does not have potential to improve, then you can seek a more fulfilling relationship with this other guy.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2010): "it was great and he asked me if it was my husband that he saw with me once i said yes but it s complicated right now"
So, what are you saying, "it was great".
Let's see, he's in the middle of a divorce. That means he is married, and it failed for some reason. You are married, but clearly cheating on your husband at this point. You both have kids.
Really, don't go on with this. Get a counselor and figure out what is going on with yourself before you get more into a mess that hurts everyone.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2010): Hi to you, I feel I know you already!
I can avise a little as I am going htrough the same thing as you are.
Please don't tell him how you feel about him! I made it clear to the guy because I noticed him giving out signs he had 'a thing for me' I also had a big infatuation on him,. From the day I put the idea into his head, he has chased me, quite full on for six months, there is deep chemistry beween us and we watch and touch each other all the time, but he has never said a word to me about any of it. I have come to the conclusion that he is using me for a big ego boost.
The thing is, once a guy knows you like him, he decides he also likes you!
Ideally you would rather have a man 'like you' for you, and not just because you like him yeah?
He is also going through a divorce right now so he will be confused, have a lot on his mind,will not want any more problems other than his own etc.
I think you should get to know him more, when he is ready, before you reveal any feelings for him, you may scare him off, or he may use you for the sex.
Either way, he probably won't be thinking of having a meaningful relationship just yet, and he may feel awkward and picking up that you like him and that is why he has been distant.
One thing I can say though, if a guy is really interested in a woman, he will usually go all out to spend time with her even in small ways for a few moments whenever he can.
If he is not doing this, I would not reveal anything to him, let him come to you.
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A
female
reader, woonwan  +, writes (3 November 2010):
I understand your feeling right now,it is not strang to happen this feeling .But the one thing, u should keep in mind that you already have a lovely kid and ur son still want mother and father . I dont you to sotp this feeling but just care ur son and ur huaband as much as you can which the best way to slove this problem.Do the best. i strongly believe that you can.
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