| A
male
age
41-50,
*imbo_jones
writes: My ex (age 23) and I (age 26) had been in a long distance relationship for 3 years, spending about 5 months of every year around each other. She broke it off saying that she was unsure I was the one for her. She says she hasn't ruled out getting back together in the future and wants to remain friends. She still calls every few days, and I feel confused/sad every time I talk to her. I still care for her very much and want to keep open the possibility of getting back together in a few months when we're both living in the same city, but at the same time I'm in constant emotional pain and talking to her isn't making it any better. Should I tell her to stop contacting me, or should I try to suck it up until I get back into town and see what happens?
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female
reader, chachacha  +, writes (5 March 2007):
As she has broken it off, you shouldn't be waiting around hoping to get back together, because if she was really interested in doing that, she wouldn't have broken it off.
It sounds like she wants to have her cake and eat it - she wants you to be at the end of the phone for her emotional support, whilst at the same time she has complete freedom to go out with another person at any time.
Personally, I would ask her not to call me again.
Even if she then turns round and says that she made a mistake in breaking it off, I would be very wary of that - some people just like to have others hanging around for them.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2007): This isn't fair on you. What happens if she meets someone else? Are you supposed to accept it? I would tell her it is over and you don't want any further contact. You now have to move on and you will never do it if this contact still remains. Please be strong and let go and ask her to do the same. The future will be brighter.
Take care
xx
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A
female
reader, nicola79 +, writes (5 March 2007):
 What it sounds like to me is she doesnt want to cheat on you so she broke the relationship,which in a way thats a good thing but its left you hangin around for her.
I would ask her to stop ringing you because its not helping things at all. You dont want to be treated like that sweety,wating and hoping she will change her mind,its not right love.
Tell her that you need to stop all contact and when she comes back,arrange to meet eachother and see how you both feel then????
So starting from now,go out with your mates and have a good time and see how you feel sweety. xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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