A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have know this guy for around 2 years, and for the last year and a half of knowing eachother we have been flirting. during this past summer we were talking on AIM and he asked if i liked him, which seemed weird because i made i obvious that i was flirting. Anyways i told him yes and then later he asked me what i would say to hot and steamy sex. I am a virgin so that to me is out of the question when we havent even dated. I am 19 and he is 18.he said he wanted friends with benifits but i told him no. The rest of the summer was a little uncomfortable but once we got used to knowing we liked eachother and the awkardness went away. Then we started flirting again, and just a few days ago i finally gave in a little and we made out plus a little extra.I am a virgin and he is not, and he wants sex. I am not sure if i am ready. Plus i dont want to be dropped after sex. He told me he wouldnt do that but i have trust issues and i am worried. Also, he is my cousins best friend and i dont want to create a rift there, and he doesnt want to tell my cousin that anything happened between us, even if we kept the story inoccent. I feel like i am falling for him, but i think its because he would be the first serious relationship i would have. Should i give him a chance or pull back? Is it worth the problems that might come along?Plus i plan on joining the navy in 6 or so months should i start something, or stick with the drunkin makeout sessions that i have had in the past? One night one time things. (which really piss this main guy off when he hears about them)
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2008): It sounds to me like he has told you he wants friends with benefits and hot and steamy sex.
Him telling you he wouldn't dump you after means that he would want to have sex with you again, this time in a different position, it does not mean that he wants to ever be your boyfriend.
Friends with benefits is never a good thing for the girl. We are wired to bond with a man after having sex, to men sex is often just release from sexual tension....You are already "falling for him" and if you continue to have drunken make out sessions with him then I am sure you know what will happen.
If being a virgin means that you want to wait until you are in love and a commited relationship, then you will be making a mistake here...tell him to go take a cold shower...he is being a jerk pressuring you into sex when you told him no.
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (26 January 2008):
 Well, you are of legal age to make the decision.
If you are not ready to take that step then don't do it.
Sure, he may drop you like a hot potato as soon as he makes the conquest. That is what a lot of guys do.
Or possibly he is a man who would value an ongoing relationship.
You may have to accept either if you decide to go that far, it's obviously up to you. If you would be emotionally hurt if you are used this time, and you have no way of knowing, then it might be best to continue declining.
But you've known him two years? Well, guess you should know him fairly well.
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