A
female
age
30-35,
*olanative89
writes:I recently just found out that my fiance has a 2 year old daughter. Me and him used to date back in 2004 and I have known him since I was 14. After hurricane Katrina we broke up because we relocated to two different states. Last October he moved to where I am and we have been back together for over a year. He went back to where he lived before and found out that after taking a test the kid was his. I always knew there was a chance but after arguing with the girl she said it wasn't his. Now I have to decide whether or not I should move to where he is to still be with him even though he has a kid. Part of me wants to say that I'm still young but the other says that I love him and shouldn't let anything come between us. Please someone give me your opinion.
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male
reader, rcn +, writes (14 November 2008):
 so, the drama is not a confrontational drama, it's one you create. the difference between it working and not working with you two and the mamma is their choice to interact in the best interest of the child. my kids mom and I can't be together living as a family, but we discuss the childrens best interest and we have an appropriate level friendship.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2008): You shouldn't marry him...because there will always be drama with his ex...and lord knows that ex's can be a true pain in the ass...he will always be in communication with her...and you relationship will always be you, him, and his ex....think about this..before you marry him.
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A
female
reader, nolanative89 +, writes (13 November 2008):
nolanative89 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI've been thinking about if I would be able to deal with it and I am still torn. On one hand I really can't get mad because she got pregnant when me and him wasn't together but I still hate "baby mama drama". I don't know the girl personally but I would imagine that my blood would boil anytime I have to see her or be in her presence. We also have been engaged for almost a year and I really don't want to throw it away. Is it wrong to have a "what if" attitude and just see how this works out but not be engaged to him until I make my decision?
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (13 November 2008):
A child around now and then can be seen as a blessing as well. What I want you to do is in a quiet place sit back, relax, close your eyes and picture your life without your fiance. This will tell your which way to go. One of the best sayings I've heard relate to looking for that special someone, "I'm not looking for someone I can live with, I'm looking for someone I can't live without."
Which every way you choose, good luck to you.
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A
female
reader, Teacake +, writes (13 November 2008):
 Hi there! I'm still here in New Orleans. Drama drama drama! Sounds like the best thing is to find a boyfriend who doesn't have children because they are forever and will always be a problem for you. The other girl will always be in the picture and he will always have to chose between you and both of you girls will always be pressuring him to choose between all of you. Its a road to drama and heartache.
You are so young and have a whole life to find the right man. There is no such thing as happily ever after in any relationship. You want him all to yourself as every woman does, but this is just not possible any more.
I hope you like the new city and that things work out for you.
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