A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello, I hope you can help. This sounds like a trivial dilemma but I have no one else to ask and I can't stop thinking about it. It has veen been waking me at night. My boyfriend and I decided to spend Christmas day together about 2 months ago. It will be my first one away from my family. My boyfriend has since told me that he isn't in love with me yet (been together a few months) after I told him I loved him. But now I don't think I want to spend Christmas with someone who doesn't love me - I had thought we would have a really romantic day together, but since I told him how I felt, and he said he liked me but wasn't 'in love' with me after 7 months together, I feel like the whole day will be a bit of a sham and perhaps I should spend it with my family, who love me - in fact part of me wants to tell him to get lost if he doesn't love me yet, even tough he has been sleeping with me and I stay at his place all the time. Any advice would be really appreciated xxx
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female
reader, heartless420_1  +, writes (5 December 2008):
 Spend christmas with the people that you know love you, your family!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2008): Maybe you could invite him over to spend Christmas with you and your family, then you could have both.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2008): People fall in love in different time frames - some quickly, some more slowly. I think true love takes time to build, and relationships that develop slowly are more likely to be built on more solid ground than those that are fast. Each person has the opportunity to really get to know the other person, and REALLY loving someone means accepting everything, the good and the bad. It sounds to me like your boyfriend just wants to be sure about his feelings before expressing love, and there isn't anything wrong with that. It's frustrating for you because your time frame was faster than his, but that doesn't make him wrong. It just means he's more cautious. I say if you want to spend Christmas with him, do it. You say you spend all your time at his place, so obviously he's seeing something in you that he likes a lot!! Don't punish him for not being on the same time frame you are.
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A
female
reader, Teacake +, writes (4 December 2008):
 Do what will make you happiest. If you aren't with him will you be sad not to be with him?
Maybe if he is not with you, he will miss your company? My vote is to be with your family. Let him see what its like to be without you.
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