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Should I see what he has to say?

Tagged as: Cheating, The ex-factor, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 December 2010) 8 Answers - (Newest, 6 December 2010)
A age 36-40, anonymous writes:

A male friend or ex "fwb" you might call it, ended up sleeping together a few weeks ago. BIG mistake because he has a girlfriend.

I spoke to him about it a few days later, and told him i felt like an idiot about what happened. He asked why, and i told him because i knew it was wrong but i went through with it anyway.

He asked why i thought it was wrong, i told him because he's with someone else. He said "oh ok i thought you meant you didn't want to have sex".

I told him i was dissapointed that it had happened and that us being platonic friends obviously isn't going to work. I also said that i didn't believe he wanted my friendship after what happened.

He told me he wants to be friends and that's more important to him then the sex. I said i didn't believe him, but wished i could.

He asked if we could meet up for a coffee or something one day to talk.

Should i see what he has to say?

View related questions: has a girlfriend

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (6 December 2010):

Honeypie agony auntLet it go, honey. Live and learn!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

He text me last night and told me he enjoyed the sex. Doesn't sound guilty about it. He said "can we have a drink and a chat first haha".

I'm such an idiot. Eurgh...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2010):

My suggestion is no, you shouldn't meet him for coffee. Ending all contact may help you recover from this. This guy is just tossing out a line and he wants to 'reel' you in. He still likes the idea of having some booty call, on hand. Listen, I see where both of you made a regrettable choice, due to motives you both had. He wanted a fling, ..I am guessing you wanted a relationship with him, whether or not, you knew he was dating someone else or not. All this didn't work and now you are seriously rethinking this. Just dump this friendship, and put a stop to his 'hidden agenda', which is likely having you hang around as his 'booty call'. After you do that...take a lesson from this. Never do it again. Just move on..recover and go find someone who'll treat you well, and wants to make you his #1 lady. Now get out there in life, have fun with other friends, and look ahead! Good luck!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2010):

Ahhh...the 'ol let's be friends routine. What would the point be? Are you going to 'hang out' with him and do fun things (like real friends)? Probably not. And...really, why would you want to. The guy has shown to you what he is all about. Remember, those who cheat with you will cheat on you. I think true "friendship" is probably out of the question for the two of you. You said you didn't believe what he was telling you. Go with your gut.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (2 December 2010):

Honeypie agony auntI think if you feel unable to control your own actions (as in cheat with a guy who has a GF), it might make you life easier to just stay away from him.

He obviously doesn't care what you think really and he certainly doesn't respect his GF either.. can you say Douche bag?

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A male reader, dirtball United States +, writes (2 December 2010):

dirtball agony auntp.s. Why would you want to be friends with an ass hole who cheats on his girlfriend?

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A male reader, dirtball United States +, writes (2 December 2010):

dirtball agony auntNo. His actions speak to his true intentions.

Read this: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/women-actions-speak-louder-than-words.html

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A female reader, Tine United Kingdom +, writes (2 December 2010):

Tine agony aunthe is trying to show you that he still values your friendship and thats why he is asking you out for coffee.

i think if you want to carry on being friends with him then meet him for coffee, see what he has to say then work out what you want to do afterwards. You have nothing to lose by meeting him, just dont have sex again.

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