A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am so confused! I just don't know whether I should go out on a date with this guy I saw over the summer. I didn't tell him that my mother died just two months shorter before I met him and he didn't tell me he broke up with his ex just two months short before he met me.At the time I thought it was a good idea- just dating for fun but I started liking him. I never told him about my mom.Well I told him in the beginning that I was moving to the city and he made this sad face. I asked him why so sad and he said because he believes people who move to the city don't come back. I thought that was ridiculous. As we saw each other, I decided not to move and I told him that. Our relationship got stronger. (He's a bit insecure- he gives off this cocky persona around people he doesn't know) He asked me one night why I was with him but I just brushed it off, saying he was drunk.The next week, after visiting friends in the city, I decided it would be best to move. So feeling comfortable (even thinking he would ask me to be his girlfriend)I told him I was moving and he called me a summer fling. Before I told him I was moving, he was so sweet but after I told him I was moving, he started acting weird. He became distant. Towards the end of our 'fling', he started joking around about me being a summer fling and just using him until I found something better. Then a week later, he ended it- saying he got back with his ex.Making a very long story short, he ended with his ex just 2 weeks after he ended with me. I ran into him and he apologized, saying I deserved better. He's been texting me eversince to see him again. After I told him I don't think he knows what he wants, he told me he wasn't confused until his ex wanted him back. But he went back with her and she screwed him over and now he knows to never talk to her again. We were never anything official when we were dating. I ran into him recently and he couldn't stop staring at me, even followed me outside. He told me how much he wanted to see me again. He said he didn't want me to be with anyone. He called me on christmas and he asked me out (again) and I gave in and said yes. I don't know what to do! I'm really confused. A part of me feels like he ended it because I was moving. But when he saw I would always return to our hometown, I feel like it gave him some comfort. Please help! I don't know if I should see him again.
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female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (30 December 2009):
 He sounds very confused and as though he doesn't really know his own mind (at least so far as dating is concerned).
If you think it would be in your best interests to relocate to the city, then that's your decision. You can't let him influence you. He MIGHT have been attempting to make you feel a tad guilty for your proposed move, you know, making a sad face and saying people who go there don't return.
Good grief, if you decide to see him again, you could go to your hometown for a visit, or he could make a trip to the city, now couldn't he?
At this point, I wouldn't put too much stock in this friendship if I were you.........he seems emotionally unreliable at present.
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