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Should I propose to him? He has said in the past that he wouldn't mind.

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Question - (28 March 2016) 5 Answers - (Newest, 30 March 2016)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My BF of 3 yrs and I are travelling to California and Vegas in October and have decided to elope while there.. secretly!

Anyway I know he's been looking been looking at engagement rings bur I also know he does not have the money for one ( he started his own business thus year) , and u don't think he will propose without one. Should I propose to him? He has said in the past that he wouldn't mind.

It might take the pressure off. Plus I need to get organising....! It's my birthday in two weeks. Do I wait till then just in case?

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy + , writes (30 March 2016):

CindyCares agony aunt I am a bit confused too. If you have decided that you will get married in Las Vegas in October- well, you have bypassed the formal proposal, the "will you marry me "- he knows already that you want to marry him- and viceversa.

As for organizing, you have got nothing to do, just to bring along an ID ; this is the beauty- and the limit - of a Vegas wedding. You select a package deal, from 100 USD to several thousands, according to your budget, and you've got your witness, ceremony, flowers, pics, video etc.etc. all taken care of for you. I don't think you'd intend to drag along all over the USA a suitcase heavy with a voluminous bridal gown !, but if you can't do without a

" princess " gown, you can rent it or buy it there.

If you mean that getting married like this , no proposal no ring, may feel a bit dry and unromantic,- apparently that's what your fiance' feels too, - but I guess he knows he is the one who is supposed to buy the ring and propose IF he wants to get married in October. So I would not jump the gun, in your place. If he means business, he'll either come up with a ring before October , or else decide that , since technically you are ALREADY engaged, you can proceed anyway, with or without an engagement ring.

Of course there's no law that says you cannot be the one to propose, instead- but if the problem is to make things more romantic, I can't think of anything so unromatic as having to buy yourself your own engagement ring :)

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States + , writes (29 March 2016):

Tisha-1 agony auntWhat do you need to get organized? Thank you for the follow up. I'm still a bit confused.

If he still wants there to be an official proposal, he has an opinion, obviously, passive tense though that sentence be... So in his idea of a proposal, is that just to seal the already agreed upon deal of the marriage in Vegas? Or is the elopement still an idea and not a real plan?

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland + , writes (29 March 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntWhy not talk to him about it and tell him you know he is not in a financial position to buy a ring, maybe offer to pay half.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2016):


Sorry yes. We decided all this but it seems he still wants there to be an official proposal ...

No idea why. He jokes with me about it but I need to get organising so it's frustrating feeling in limbo!

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States + , writes (28 March 2016):

Tisha-1 agony auntI'm a little confused by the question, if you've decided to elope, then aren't you technically engaged already? You've set a date and have a plan.

Wouldn't proposing again be redundant?

If the question is about getting an engagement ring, I guess you'll need to decide how important it is to you. Do you want one you picked out yourself or do you want him to do it himself?

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