A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Me and my girlfriend have been dating for just over 2 years and we've spoken before about getting married.I know she would like to get engaged,because she told me,and i do to,she hinted about new years eve.Thing is,if we do get engaged,i wouldnt be able to save for our wedding.Because i just recently bought a car,which i now have to pay off, and im already paying off the house me and my mum are staying in.My father passed on 4 years ago,so im basically supporting me and my mum,although mum also works,she doesnt earn much,but she helps.I cannot expect my GF alone to save money,although her family would contribute (her family is pretty well off)i cannot expect them to fork out all the money.I really want to make her happy.I dont know what to do.Please help.
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engaged, money, wedding Reply to this Question
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female
reader, person12345  +, writes (15 October 2010):
 You can always ask her to marry you and then hold off until you can afford it. Even if you don't do anything other than tell her you love her and ask her to marry you, but not for a few years, then you can both be happy. Unless of course you don't want to ask her, in which case you should wait. Just remember even after you ask her it's not like you have to get married straight away.
A
female
reader, Kiera12345  +, writes (15 October 2010):
Talk to her and tell her that you dont have the money at the moment and if its ment to be it will be.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (15 October 2010):
 It's really the thought that counts..I say propose when you are ready to make that commitment, meanwhile look for a ring that isn't expensive or that you can afford with a payment plan, you're not trying to be out of money every paycheck. Or perhaps you can take extra hours at work? Maybe your mother or grandmother have a ring that they can pass down thru the family? My husband gave me his deceased mother's ring, which surpasses any jeweler bought ring.
Another thought is you don't have to get married right away, try maybe within 2 years..Plus, your wedding doesn't have to be an extravagant event, I know a few couples who are still paying off their wedding from 2 years ago, some even now paying for a divorce on top of that...You can have a nice small one, with family only and out to eat at a nice restaurant for the reception. Or maybe elope, I think that's so romantic. I always wanted a big white affair, but mine ended up being tiny and short..I spent under $1,000. Not what I always dreamed of, but all that mattered was I was marrying the love of my life.
So, don't fret..a lot of guys have been in your shoes. It will all work out.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (15 October 2010):
 I think that she fully understands the position you're in and wouldn't want you to stress over anything. I think you should propose to her because that will make you both happy. You don't need to get married right away and you should also be open to accepting some generosity if it is offered. Discuss your concerns with her, that's part of being life partners. I have a feeling that you'll feel relieved after you do.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (15 October 2010):
 It is just a suggestion but perhaps she will understand. Proposals are a promise, a sign of readiness for the devotion you are about to commit to. Perhaps you cannot propose to her with an engagement ring, instead, consider a promise ring. Just to show her that you still remember and it is something you want to do, you just lack the funds to do so right now. It does not have to be dazzling, you just have to mean what you say when you show her and you tell her what it is. If your girlfriend loves you and is ready for marriage, she will understand that you cannot propose right now until things are better.
I hope that helps.
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