A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So here's my issue ... my boyfriend has this girl Wendy who still keeps in contact with him. The very first night we went out, she was blowing up his cell phone with phone calls and texts like "please come over" "make love to me" "i need you" "i left my door unlocked" "im ready for you"... he kind of laughed them off. Well since then, he and I have gotten serious and are in a commited relationship and have lived together for a year.My bf didn't tell Wendy at first about us, and when he finally did she freaked and tried to get him to come over to "fix a leak" in her bathroom. To the best of my knowledge, he did not "help" her. About once a month, she will text or call him to see if he is still with me, usually late at night. I don't even know if he told her how serious he is with me or not. He is the type of guy who never has given much detail about our relationship to anyone.Well they just talked today, and he wanted to go out with her for drinks, because she is having "guy problems". He added, "you can come too if you want, but don't have to". Why would he stay in contact with her? They are not good friends of any kind .. He has made her sound like an old, clingy booty call girl. I have not met her in the 18 months we've been together. Do you think it's strange that he's stayed in contact with her? Should I go with them if they go or try to talk him into not going? It just seems sort of rude to me ... Please help!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2010): You need to let go and find out whether he truely loves you. Its best you find out now than later. If I was in your shoes I would tell him to chose what is important - an ex girlfriend or you. If an ex wants her boyfriend back she will continue to try and get him back and has no scruples/no limits.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2010): I agree with the other posters. This could be yet another ploy to get him on his own and, whilst it sounds like he's doing the right thing in keeping you informed with everything she's up to, it might just hit things home to her once and for all if you turn up with him. Maybe when she sees the two of you together she'll back off.
I wouldnt let him think you dont trust him but just say you're going to show her you're together. If he retracts his offer to let you come THEN you should get suspicious.
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A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (9 April 2010):
 He is your boyfriend and you have every right to know whats going on. I would strongly discourage him, but if you can't than go with him. The benefits of having a booty call is no attachment involve and your boyfriend knows this very well because he was her booty call just like she was his. Why would your boyfriend put himself in this situation if he has a girlfriend, she might want a little action after she is done crying.
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A
female
reader, sweetspicy +, writes (8 April 2010):
 Hey there
I hate to say it but I've been the other girl before. I was still crushing on a guy when I knew he had a girlfriend it was a wierd situation because I liked him and wanted him to be with me but I knew he wasnt going to leave the girl he was with. We are still friends and I still hate the fact that he's not with me.
To answer your question I wouldn't let him go alone to hang out with this girl, and not because you dont trust him but because you shouldnt trust her. If he is getting drunk with her she might try and take advantage of him. My advise to you is go with him to meet her and who knows she might become your good friend.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (8 April 2010):
To be honest, given their history I would be a little concerned too. I suggest you tell him that you feel uncomfortable about it, and if he asked you to come along, then do just that.
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A
female
reader, r_a_w_r1645 +, writes (8 April 2010):
 i wouldnt let him go out with her for drinks. things probably would get really bad. chances are he might cheat or he might not. if he really wants to go with him.
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