A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:thinking of leaving my husband of 7 years. He is a kind caring consdierate person who would do anything for anyone but there are a few issues i just cannot live with. they are : he hits and verbally abuses our children calling them stupid, he swears all the time so now our children do, he complains all the time about even the smallest things, he goes mad if the children watch tv and play on the computer in the living room, he is a road rager, he is moody and depressive and when he wants sex i have to supply it there and then or risk him sulking. if i tell him these things he just goes sulky and depressive blames everyone else,nothing is ever his fault. i cant take it, he has been like this years but i thought if i made him happy he would change. now i have found someone else i would like to take my chances with although i have not had sex or anything with him he is in the army and i would not see much of him but i dont care. i am unhappy anyway even before this new person came and would be leaving because i have had enough however i would have to go it alone with 4 kids. should i leave my husband and go it alone or should i stay and risk being unhappy for all my life? Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok, thanks to all who answered. so i got a friend to help me remove my husband from the home. It worked for 11 days and now he is back, he just sneaked back in one night(shoulda had his keys i know)and even though i told him i didnt wana try anymore and i only see him as a friend he will not go. he has been offered a place to stay indefinately but he refused it. i tell him every day that i dont want him here. things have changed but only a little bit (he does not hit the kids anymore)but he has also took it upon himself to book us into marriage counselling because he says "i did not marry you to live without you, marriage is for life" i went the first time round to let the counsellor know just how manipulative he is being. even though i dont wana try i feel pressurised into it, he sulks and threatens suicide if i dont do what he wants.he just will not leave its looking like i will be forced to put up with him until i can save up some money and get away.
A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20  +, writes (1 August 2009):
 Let him go. Yes you should leave him. You will probably get a lot of responses to this question, because the answer is so obvious. Not trying to offend you, just saying.
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A
female
reader, quiet-echo  + ♥, writes (1 August 2009):
 'He is a kind caring consdierate person who would do anything for anyone'......except work on being a better father and husband.
It would probably be better for you to go it alone rather than jump into a new relationship. At this point any man who is marginally better is going to seem fantastic compared to what you have, but eventually when the new relationship energy wears off, you'll see flaws in him too.
Going it alone gives you some time to recover emotionally and sort out what you really want.
It also allows your children time to heal before being expected to incorporate a new authority figure in their lives. They'll still have their father to deal with, remember, even if he doesn't live with them.
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister + ♥, writes (1 August 2009):
 Exactly how does he demonstrate kindness and consideration when he abuses children?! I'm floored. Please read the links below and see if you see your husband in these articles, okay? I think you may not recognize what red flags are.
http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171
http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/manipulator/redflaglist.shtml
Please update us!
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