A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:When I was 16 I got taken advantage of by my then-boyfriend #Don who was a few years older. I got pregnant and had my little girl #Rosa but Don walked out on us. My parents kicked me out and Rosa and I went to live with my friend #Troy and his family who were very helpful. Troy would babysit Rosa while I went to college because he was on a night course. I'm nearly 19 and next year I'll be qualified to go to university but Troy's family don't think I should take Rosa because it'll be a distraction and "unnecessary stress". They want me to leave her with them for however long I am at uni for and they will bring her up to see me as often as possible. They have already said that they don't want custody of her because it will only be like they are 24/7 babysitting until I get home from university.I don't know because I don't want her to feel like I've deserted her and I don't want Rosa to be a burden to Troy's family. I trust them with Rosa but I don't know if I should go to university and leave her behind. I know I want to go to better myself for her, but I'd feel strange if I leave her behind. What should I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2012): The university will have childcare available at a very discount rate, especially if you're financially burdened. Look into it, it might even be free.
Honestly, you need to be with her. The two of you can do it! It's very nice of them to offer so much help, but honestly little girls need to be with their mothers to bond with and to be safe with. Perhaps they can take her during exam period, etc.
How well do you trust them?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2012): I wouldnt leave my little girl you can't trust everyone. I mean people now a days do things to children a lot of children are being molested by close family members and if you leave her she won't know you and when she gets older shell think you left her. You should wait till she's in school then you can do school in the mooring while she's at school or online classes work also but don't leave your little girl with Hun raise her she so young
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (29 August 2012):
 Time for you to stand on your own two feet, and time for you and Rosa to start being a family. Check your university and make sure you can access creche facilities and then go for it!
These years are the most developmental for Rosa, if you leave her in this family's care for the next three or four years who do you think she is going to bond with, turn to for help and consider her mother? Not you. Thank them nicely for their very generous offer but your baby needs to be with you.
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