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Should I leave my boyfriend?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 March 2008) 7 Answers - (Newest, 25 March 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I'd like some advice please.

I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half, moved in together in September. Everything has been alright but these past few months, he has treated me like shit and to be honest, I don't deserve it but I'm too scared to leave because I love him and he says he loves me too.

We talked about moving out last week as money is a stuggle but today he said he wants to move out because he can't live with me anymore. He says that he can't do anything he wants to do and hates seeing me 24/7.

I work 5 days a week and he works, thurs, fri, sat, sun night. We hardly see each other, I suggest he does the stuff he wants to do during the day. He says he can't, and gives a whole bunch of bullshit reasons including cleaning the flat. Truth is he's always sleeping.

I dislocated my knee the other day and even though he doesn't mind me not cleaning the flat as I find it hard to walk, I still do it as when he wakes up there is going to be an arguement.

Other reasons why I think he's no good:

1, He makes me cry all the time and most things he says are hurtful.

2. He takes everything out on me even when they aren't my fault as I'm always at work

3. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells 24/7 with him.

4. He's never in a good mood - maybe once a week at most.

5. We never do anything together, even when I suggest something he never wants to do it.

6. He's stopped me from seeing some friends.

7. He never listens to me.

There is a whole lot more but I can't think to be honest. When I'm writing this I actually feel sick, I don't know if it's because I've been crying most of the day or something else, thats never happened before.

View related questions: at work, money, moved in

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2008):

You can't have just the parts of him you want. You either have all of it or nothing and he's not gonna change.

If you stay with him then you are deciding that you are willing to put up with the bad. It's really that simple.

Once you really know how he is (and you obviously do by now) there is no such thing as staying with him but not agreeing to endure the bad stuff.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2008):

I am going through the same problem as you and i know its hard

to give up but i think you should.There are other great guys out there and when you leave him you will realize that. So,if you think you can't stand your relationship no more i think you should leave,but first sit and talk to him and then decide whether its the right thing to do!

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A male reader, anon_e_mouse United Kingdom +, writes (2 March 2008):

anon_e_mouse agony auntI agreee with the majority here... Leave and find someone who'll appreciate you :)

You've already listed 7 very good reasons. Be strong and I say get out of this relationship!

Best of luck!

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A female reader, duskyrowe United Kingdom +, writes (2 March 2008):

duskyrowe agony auntYes leave him if he makes you unhappy.

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A male reader, Namatjira United Kingdom +, writes (2 March 2008):

From what you have said it seems like you really should not be together.

Each person deserves to be treated right and it makes me angry when people (like he seems to) throw away a perfectly good relationship. Your expectations do not seem unreasonable from what you have said.

Leave him to his own devices. Find yourself another bloke who will treat you right. (Can I volunteer lol ;-)) and start to enjoy life the way you deserve. Of course there will always be tough times, but when you are really together with someone they do not seem so hard because you do not feel alone. I know from my own experience that there is nothing worse than feeling alone, totally alone, when you are in a relationship.

Keep smiling and look up. Your true prince is out there somewhere.

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A female reader, Devilish Angel United States +, writes (2 March 2008):

Devilish Angel agony auntLeave his sorry ass. You deserve better than this. If he loves you, then he should be trying his damnedest to help you and make you happy. He's doing jack shit so just dump him. Love is supposed to build you up, not break you down.

X

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A female reader, dearkelja United States +, writes (2 March 2008):

dearkelja agony auntI do not think this arrangement is working and if you continue to live together you will break up for sure. I think you should move out and see if the relationship gets back on track. If it doesn't then I would suggest you leave him.

If he is putting you down and making you cry, this is not good. If he is stopping you from seeing friends, this is not good. Walking on eggshells is no way to live. Find the strength to get on with your life. These first few months should have been heavenly bliss living together, not this kind of a life.

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