A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i have been married to my husband for 4 years and we have a two year old son. I am fed up of my married life as my husband can be verbally abusive towards me and slags off my family, he is also screams, shouts at our son and his idea of disapline in severe. I was prescribed antidepressants a few months back by my GP but my husband threw them in the bin saying that i was not depressed. I am scared of this as my sister has bipolar and i do not want to go down that road. Im scared of my family finding out what he is like as they will go ballistic. What should i do?
View related questions:
depressed Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, zeer  +, writes (3 February 2009):
Well its a tough question which nobody can decide but yourself. If it's an arranged marriage, your husband might have been different before you got married but it's completely different when your living together. Ask yourself if you are the one who is compromising most of the time and inspite of that if he's not giving you any respect then it's high time you take a call on this. Try your best for the relationship to work so tat you don't repent at a later stage. Lastly be strong and be prepared to face the consequences later on coz it's not only your life but your son's as well. All the best, I hope things work out in your favour.Regards,Well wisher
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2008): Thanks for all the advice. With regard to my family going ballistic, i mean towards him. I have a very close family of three sisters and i have had to hide alot of things (which can be really hard). they are starting to pick up on things now and are asking questions to which i find myself automatically defending my husband. I need to find the courage to up and go i keep saying to myself "right the next time something happens, my off" but then he's really nice and loving after that and i start thinking i could be his trigger!!!
...............................
A
female
reader, GetAGrip  +, writes (19 May 2008):
We weren't taught how to have a relationship. Its a shame this man has shown these characteristics. I bet he wasn't like this when you first met. Go and get counciling on your own. If he sees changes in you he might stop his behaviour. Don't defend your children in front of them. This will only show them a seperation in your relationship and they will blame themselves. Don't allow yourself to think you are depressed. All you are doing is trying to understand it all. If you love him, talk to him with your head and not your heart. Men are more immature than women.
...............................
A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (16 May 2008):
You really do need to leave!!! What he is doing is sooo wrong. You deserve respect. So does your son. You both deserve to be in a secure, healthy, happy home where you are both loved. Its not safe for either of you.
I am wondering why you think your family will go ballistic???? In most cases, a good loving family would feel sympahty for you and would get you the hell out of that situation as soon as they can. They would be supportive. Do you not feel your family would be like that? Do yo uthink they will blame you???
Its not your fault!!!!! I think its sad if your family would blame you and be angry at you. Because its not your fault. Perhaps you should try telling your family, they may suprise you.
I think that you def do need some sort of support. Whether that be a family member, close friend or even a counsellor. Do you have the freedom and ability to go seek some counselling? I strongly reccomend you do. Not only so they can help you leave your husband but so they can help you deal with the aftermath. Also I think it would be good for your son to get into counselling sometime too as he has fallen victim to the abuse and has witnessed it against u.
Seek some outside support!! Thats the best thing you can do.
Also take a look at this web site-
http://www.dvirc.org.au/whenlove/
Let us know how you go.
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (16 May 2008):
 For your son's sake you need to leave. Take him and go to the family member with whom you are closest. Your husband sounds dangerous, verbal abuse often escalates to physical. You need to leave to protect yourself and your baby.
...............................
A
female
reader, Aunt Audrey +, writes (16 May 2008):
 Don't keep this to yourself, confide in your family you may find that you will need their love and support should you ever decide to leave your husband.
If you feel you are depressed go back to the doctors and get yourself some more anti deppressants.
Obviously your husband verbally abuses you and your family because he knows what buttons to push to upset you. Does he say it to their faces? I bet not!
Only you can decide if you want to stay in the marriage, I'm sure your family would be horrified to discover you are living with this, and would be really upset if they found out you were suffering in silence, don't protect your husband at the expence of yourself and your son.
You need to tell your husband how he is making you feel and that he needs to change his attitude towards you and your son or risk losing you.
Good luck.x
...............................
|
