A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Not sure if I should see this guy again. (Or maybe I expect too much) I have been seeing this guy for about a month now. It is very casual. He has shown interest in me. He would text every two days or so which is fine with me. This week he didn't text me for 4 days. I normally don't msg guys (always backfires on me and I end up regretting it like this time). Anyways, I msg him to say that I would have loved to hear from him and I have been sick. He answered back to me with my best friend's name!! And he said he somehow saved both of us under my phone number. (Why does he even have her as a contact?)Anyways, I forgot about it and we kept on talking. I was going somewhere so I told him he can come if he wants to.H: I can't make it. I have to eat etc.Me: Alright then. I will enjoy some drinks for you as well.H: Now, I am sad.Me: I can wait if you want. H: Let me eat and let you know.Me. Btw, I have food if you are too hungry to cook:)H: No, it's ok. I am really sick. I don't want you to see me like this. Me: Hope you feel better.H: Thank you you are so sweet etc etcMe: Do you mind if I go now?H: Haha no b/c you are so sweet.So after this I didn't answer. Is he just trying politely turn me down? I felt like he struggled for 20 minutes to turn me down making up excuses. 10 minutes later he msgs again saying that he didn't want me to feel bad and he wanted me to know he wants to hang out with me. So I am waiting for your input. Even though it's not serious I still like him. It did hurt my feelings when he called me by my friend's name right after he didn't contact me for 4 days. P.S. I have been told I am being unreasonable with guys and expect too much. I am actually trying to be better.However, my instinct tells me to not see him again.
View related questions:
best friend, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (23 March 2013):
 Yep they might have long term BF and be getting married...but happy??...probably not.
They are probably in long term things because they consistently put up with their Boyfriend's bad behaviour, over and over!! Why do they do this?...because society demonizes being single...thing is, being single for any length of time AIN'T so bad...in fact it can be FANTASTIC!!...and no crap, or shitty comments or behaviour to put up with!!
Seems to me, if more women resisted the urge to put up with the crap...men would have to rethink their behaviour, or they'd never get laid!
Amongst all those shitty, stupid lame ass guys are some really fantastic, loving, kind and caring guys...and those are the ones you hold out for.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you guys for the help. I just wanted to see if I am unreasonable as my friend describes. I guess not. It's just the only girls that have boyfriends or fiances(!) around me seem to be really taking c**p from them. E.g.: Coming to her surprise birthday party late b/c he was eating with his friends?? or him telling her right in front of me that they should get my "genes" to have kids. I found these to be very hurtful and I would end it with either of these guys. But since they are the successful ones (having long term bfs and getting married and happy) maybe I should change my ways. While for me it is the above situation over and over again. I still think I am doing something wrong but don't know what yet. Or simply I choose the same type of guys over and over again.
...............................
A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (22 March 2013):
I agree with Tisha...he's being a bit flaky with his excuses and absence, so I'd say it's not a certain thing at this time.
If he contacts you again try not to appear too eager (offering him food and to wait for him) because it enforces bad behaviour. Maybe ask if he'd like to meet up with you and some other friends so you can suss him out a bit more. A more interested guy wouldn't be flaky or get your name wrong!!
Good luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, Got Issues +, writes (22 March 2013):
 I think you should go with your instinct and not see him again. It sounds like he likes you, but he's not looking to be with you. Otherwise he would be trying to actually see you rather than making excuses. The fact that he had your friend's number and called you by her name is kind of weird. Is it at all possible that he has been seeing both of you at the same time? Anyway, I know it's hard and disappointing, and I've been there many times, but it really is better to let it go now before you become too emotionally involved. Make a decision right now not to contact him again and stick to it. Delete his number and any other contact details you might have.
Why do people say that you are unreasonable with guys? Is there anything specific that you do/expect of them?
...............................
A
female
reader, malvern + ♥, writes (22 March 2013):
 He's not particularly interested in you I'm sorry to say. I wouldn't waste anymore time on him. Go out and find yourself a guy who will appreciate you.
...............................
A
female
reader, cute angel  +, writes (22 March 2013):
 Well OP, you'v clearly shown him that you like him and want to spend time with him,whether you like it or not the ball in his court!Now calling you by your friends name? It might be a slip up but I would get a little annoyed..!So I don't blame you if you feel the same!I think you should step back a little because now its his turn to make an effort,make things happen,plan dates,make u feel special!! If he doesn't care enough,then you should re think do you really want to spend your time dating a guy who would make no efforts with you ever!Sometimes 'only love' isn't enough,just being attracted or infatuated to someone isn't enough,you need more,you need TLC(tender love care)..so if I were you I wouldn't text him or call I would allow him to take his time and plan something special if he wants to take things forward..good luck OP
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (22 March 2013):
 I think you like him more than he likes you. I'd just let this one slide and if he pursues you, great, if he doesn't, well, no great loss, really. Your instincts are telling you to let him go, let him go.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2013): May I ask why did you tell him that your unreasonable with guys.? I mean you hardly know this dude and yet your telling him I would say is quite personal and off putting .
I think he may like you but he is looking to see what else swims by and if I were you I'd do the same ..
Text something witty and light hearted like .. Hi stranger, sorry didn't text back sooner but I got bit tipsy ( drunk) the last time we texted and I've been looking for my head over the last few days if you see it give me a shout.. Haha that and my left shoe.. Haha always kicking them off and losing them ..
...............................
|
