A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi guys..I'm having this issue with my boyfriend right now..I've been with him on-off for a year or so.. and he's got 3 girls on facebook that has a crush on him.. and he even admitted that..And now, one of the girls added me and said things like.. "I know you and him are having problems sometimes and I wanna be there for you as well." This really creeped me out because I really don't like her and suddenly she's acting friendly to me even though I've ignored her and she's ignored me the whole time I've been with him.Should I just ignore her or talk with her?
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female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (7 September 2012):
 It just depends on how much of this drama you can take in your life. It does not sound like he is going to change his behavior and things will continue as normal. Right now, you may not be tired of dealing with all of it, but when you do grow tired, giving up him and some of the friends might be a welcome idea. Sometimes there is no other way to solve the situation but by getting away from the problem. That is all I am saying.
Also, you are young enough that you probably haven't lost too many friends due to personal conflicts, but as you get older, a lot of times this happens and people go their separate ways. I would still try to work it out and tell him you don't like the fact he is spending so much time online with these other girls (or in real life too).
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks BondGirl72..
But, what if we share a lot of friends? They would choose his side over mine I believe.. so.. like.. I'd actually start a whole new life if I break up with him. :s
We got 10 friends in common or something.
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (5 September 2012):
I wouldn't like it. It sounds as if he is spending a lot of time with or on other girls that he could be spending with/on you. I wouldn't dismiss this as just something he does for fun. You always have to gadge how much the relationship is adding to your life. If it is adding more than taking away, then continue to stick with him and try to work it out. If you're finding yourself sad, confused, and/or preoccupied with this everyday...then it is time to move on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys. Well.. I don't know like.. IRL I've only seen pictures of them together.. but.. friendly.. I never talk with her though.This sounds kinda geeky lol.. but.. he rarely likes my posts but when it comes to her, he likes all of them and comments on everything.. (Kinda overly attached-sounding but when I'm on his profile there's that thing that tells you he commented and such)..And that includes winking and dirty jokes..I told her that I don't really trust her and I don't want her help.. Although I thanked her offer.Anyways, I asked him why he has all of those girls that has a crush on him as friends.. and he started a long confusing sentence about it's his best friend's brother's girlfriend and her sister is her and bla bla bla.. And Karlos5021.. I don't want to break up with him cause of a few girls.. He helps me through a lot when I'm having bad days.. I also forgot to add we're having a LDR for a few months.. so it's kinda difficult to see what he does really..
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2012): How humiliating for you that this particular girl fancies your boyfriend, they probably flirt behind your back, and now to top it off, she's offering you a helping hand with your relationship problems (Like she actually cares)
You need to tell her to keep her nose out of your relationship, and tell his disrespectful arse that you and him are through if he doesn't cut these girls off full stop. And not to include any other girls in your relationship again. I doubt he'd appreciate that you tell other guys that like you, all your relationship business and then have one stick their nose in to him like its somehow their business.
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (4 September 2012):
Facebook can be pretty damaging to a person for many reasons. You are experiencing one of the downsides of it right now. While it helps you to see who is doing what and what is going on, sometimes you really do not want to see what is going on and who is doing what.
I would start by ignoring the other girl. If she wants to be your friend, she could start by doing so in real life--not Facebook. I would also talk to your boyfriend about being in an exclusive relationship. If you don't tell him these other girls bother you, it will continue to be an issue. It may continue to be an issue anyway, but you need to be upfront about it...especially if he is communicating with them all the time. That communication takes time away from you and that isn't right.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (4 September 2012):
 Ignore her. But, I would ignore him too. On and off never bides well for the future of a relationship. In fact, often "on and off " means for at least one in the couple, " you are on as long as I cannot get a better offer..then you are off". And if he has so many groupies, and , apparently, rather than just ignoring them ( speaking of ignoring ) he is sort of tickled by the idea, to the point of talking about his admirers to you...well, you see where I am getting at.
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