A
female
age
30-35,
*hamilton
writes:Ahhh, Where do I start. My boyfriend of a year and a half, and I just recently broke up. I called it quits after I found out that he has been lying about smoking weed. He would smoke after I left his house. And ever since I broke up with him, shits been hitting the fan. He was controlling, and wouldn't let me hang out with my girlfriends. So therefore, I have nobody to lean on... I really just don't know what to do with myself. It's hard to go from seeing someone everyday for over a year, to not having anyone there.Yup, I know I was treated like shit. But it still sucks.
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female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (4 September 2012):
 I agree with the other posts. I know it is cliche to say "get out and meet other people and do more things", but that is precisely what you need to do. If nothing else, it helps trick your mind into "forgetting", if not temporarily, about the boyfriend and the pain he caused you. It will often take time for you to convince yourself to "get out there" as you will want to sit and cry in your bedroom instead. I did that for quite some time until I grew tired of being sad everyday then realized there were a lot of people in the world who were genuinely nice people who would help console me in their own way. I think when I started seeing how others were treating me, that they were happy to see and talk with me, that they were interested in spending time with me, it helped me tremendously. Don't go out and meet people with the attitude of finding your next potential partner. Go out and meet people with the attitude that they have something to add to your life and you to theirs. Like JK said...put yourself in situations where you're meeting men/women, young/old, and even animals if you like them. Volunteer at an animal shelter or someplace where you could lend a hand. Go to local events in your community for fun...even if you are not particulary interested in the event. If you open up enough to let in new experiences and people, you will find your world will become a lot bigger than just you and your ex. You may meet a romantic partner and you may not, but get out and live your life. I know you will be sad a lot, I was. But if you start acting in ways that help you get out and be happy, you will eventually get yourself to the place where you are happy, and you can see your ex for what he is...someone who isn't for you.
A
female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (4 September 2012):
 I've been there. Just out of a relationship where I literally saw him every day and he was pretty much my everything, no outside friends or hobbies really, just us. It's hard and I feel your pain. What I did was keep myself as busy as possible. I tried to pick up more shifts at work so I wasn't home alone and sad. I found new tv shows to keep my interest and my mind off of the ex and other sad things. I got new video games to do the same thing. When I was lonely I visited my parents or sisters. Having someone there really helps. I talked to people on this site, asked and answered questions. And I wrote down all of my thoughts whenever I got really down, every single thought in my head. It always helped me and made me feel like a weight was lifted. Over time I became less sad and more used to being on my own. Then it became normal and I rarely thought of the ex anymore. It's something that is hard and takes time, but you definitely move on and get past it. You just need to keep busy with whatever activities you like to do. And if you have family around be sure to visit with them from time to time when you are feeling too lonely. It will all be okay in time. Good job on dumping him and being strong enough to not go back. Now you can try and get your friends back or new friends to hang out with and have your own life. If you ever feel down and want someone to talk to you can message me on here. You aren't ever truly alone.
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A
male
reader, Joseph Kent +, writes (4 September 2012):
I was once advised while in a similar situation: You need to stop looking for a "replacement" special person. Meet as many new people as you can: men, women,older, younger. Join some groups, go to church, or meetings.Someone special, eventually will notice. In the mean time, you will experience some of how challenging it is for EVERYONE out there, and meet some really neat people.There's a beautiful proverb that says: "You can chase butterflies all day with a net an catch nothing. But if you will go where the butterflies are and quietly just sit and be you, a beautiful Monarch willland on your shoulder...."Joseph
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