A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a really sensitive issue - I've been seeing this guy that is completely commitment-phobic, he refuses to even consider dating me, but he's all over me, can't manage a single night without cuddling up in bed with me, it's not sex, it's just cuddles and kisses, but he's adamant that there will never be a relationship, he even went as far as to tell me to date other guys if I get the chance, so that I don't get to attached to him. So because of this, I started looking for other guys, and found a really funny, nice, attractive guy that wants to take me out on a date at the weekend.I was really excited, as it was like an escape from the guy I'm seeing at the moment. But last night when I was with the guy, he told me he was getting feelings for me, and that if I REEAAALLY wanted to be with him, he'd be willing to go out with me just to see how it went. He opened up a lot about how stressed he is, how he's on anxiety pills etc and we got really close to the point where I started crying, because I don't want to be with him, he's just so uncaring, but I know that if I date this other guy, we won't be friends any more because of the bad timing.So should I go out with this guy that is only asking to keep me happy, or date a guy and feel like I've betrayed the guy I'm seeing? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (14 November 2012):
Hi dear,First of all, I think you should end this weird thing with Mr.Uncaring, no matter if you'll be having a date with the other guy or not.Because you say yourself you want to escape that relationship, it doesn't seem to be doing you any good. And it's not your job to suddenly care about this uncaring guy who never wanted a relationship with you, just because he changed his mind now and confessed some mental problems.He said himself you shouldn't get attached to him, probably a good advice. I was involved in a weird arrangement a little like this one time myself and it only pulled me down. If you sorted out things with the first guy, just listen to your heart and see if you really feel something for the second guy.
A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (14 November 2012):
 Why don't you stop seeing the uncaring guy and be single, THEN look for someone else? You wouldn't be betraying anyone that way.
Just make sure you finish it with the first guy. You shouldn't have to wait for someone better to come along.
Why would you want to stay friends with Mr Uncaring by the way?
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (14 November 2012):
 Congratulations! You have now arranged for TWO guys to fawn over you.... and neither one sounds much like dating/relationship material....
If you were my Sister, I'd tell you to leave BOTH of them alone and wait until you encountered a REAL prospective "boyfriend" before you tipped your hand...
P.S. You write, about No 1: "....can't manage a single night without cuddling up in bed with me, it's not sex, it's just cuddles and kisses,.." What's that all about???
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (14 November 2012):
 Date the new guy, the other sounds like he has too many issues.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2012): Stop letting that guy control you and dump him. Then whoever your with you won't be guilty. You don't keep cuddling with the jerk.
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