A
female
age
41-50,
*slandbella
writes:i have a major dilemma. my boyfriend and i met up on facebook and been dating online for the past 2 years. last year he came to visit and i accidentally fell pregnant. we had a beautiful baby girl but still lived across the world from each other. he came to see his daughter in dec for the first time and also met my parents. my mother didnt approve from the word go. we are of different race. i am indian and he is black. i relocted my life form the uk to be with him in southafrica in march. we have never lived together before or been in each others presence for more than a day.. we didnt really get along 3 weeks on, we fought all the time, he seemed depressed all the time and was very moody. his excuse was that he has been living alone for the past four years and needs time to adjust to living with someone else..he had frequent nights out with his boys leaving me alone with our 5 month old baby. one night he came home at 5am and i was really angry that he came at that time. we had a scuffle and we were tugging at our child, he was refusing to let me have her. i panicked thinking that he might run off with our daughter. i packed my bags and left the country without him knowing.i am here now regretting my decision. i hate being at home with my parents again. they will now disown me if i decide to leave and go back to him. please give me some advise..
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female
reader, islandbella +, writes (6 April 2010):
islandbella is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank ou very much for the advice poppycorn. it helped alot. we are currently talking now but he needs to change. i went on to his facebook toady and noticed that during these past few days he has been adding some lady friends who i am not comfy with.. so much for change!!! its so hard coz i love and really want us to work.. :(
A
female
reader, poppycorn  +, writes (5 April 2010):
It looks like your the one making all the sacrifices in this relationship. It's time this man owned up to his responsibilities. She's his daughter aswell!!
I know you probably want more than anything to be with your daughters father right now but if he's not willing to make the effort then there is nothing you can do. Don't just be with him for the sake of your child because if things don't work out you will have no family to fall back on and will be in a strange country. Then what sort of situation will your baby and you be in?
Moving is a big step and must only be done if you're sure your guy is going to commit! If he is not then you and your daughter are better off without him. Your baby doesn't need a man like that in her life, even if he is her father BELIEVE ME! Find a better man to be her dad, someone she can look up to and be proud of.
Hope this helps
x
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