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Should I encourage this relationship with this guy or cut it off?

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Question - (9 April 2008) 1 Answers - (Newest, 9 April 2008)
A female age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I met a guy a year ago, he's in the US army. When I met him he was kind of flirty but I didn't liked him, so we use to have communcations purely business (really I didn't saw him again in person) just purely business.Then he left, never saw him again.

I remembered while he's away, having a communication with him by email, so he asked for my acct to be in touch. From what someone told me the guy's a big flirt.

Around 4 months ago he send me a message on IM so we started chatting daily for a week. On New Year's he said he was going to send me a message wishing a happr New Year, and so he did! I started to like him. I asked him if he is married, and he did told me he has a GF who is military as well.

BUT, he said he was doing thought the motions cuz she and himself have to deploy and they don't each other, yada yada!

So I knew I had to keep it cool, so not to have any trouble.

The thing is he send me on new years along with that message another one drunk, saying he wanted to see me! and he always stated he wants me to visit him, which I was and still am quite doubtful, taking in consiration I don't know the guy that much.

He sends me compliments, saying he likes me, he thinks of me, etc.

He's always fliting with me, and even said if we could ever be more than friends, I said it was to soon to say that.

To make it short, his GF came back around that time so since she's there with him he had taper off. So, I thought that was gonna be it. She had what he wanted and now he's forgeting me like a player!

But this week, he send me an IM message, saying he wants to recandle our conversations on IM, that he wants me not to be a stranger, and to talk more often. Didn't mentioned the GF, and sometimes I ask about her to see his reponse but this time I didn't.

The thing I'm not totally indiferent to him, but I'm not into him neither.

He intrigues me, but at the same time, Idk what to think and I'm afraid to open up to him, cuz Idk what he wants.

Should I encourage this and see where it goes or cut it off?

View related questions: drunk, flirt, military, player

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A female reader, happytochat Australia +, writes (9 April 2008):

I dont think you should encourage a guy like him. Lets say you did and you formed some sort of relationship with him. There are two possible outcomes. He goes out with you and so on and perhaps does things with you yet wont commit because like you said hes a bit of a 'player'. SO he might just want something casual and non-exclusive, is this what YOU want? The other possible outcome is that he 'commits' to you in a relationship, yet goes behind your back and chats to OTHER girls on IM just like he is doing to his current gf now, YOU being the OTHER woman. How would that make you feel? Not very good.

You dont wnat that do you? I suggest you stay away from him. My guess is that the reason you are intrigued to talk to him is because perhaps you are lonely or like the attention he gives you. Dont you think you deserve more then a guy who would mess his gf around like this? i think you do, so dont settle for less.

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