A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:so my boyfriend broke up with me a couple days ago.. and i'm still not over it. we went out for about a week but i really liked him. usually it wouldn't bother me like this but i guess i really do like him. i guess i wasn't good enough for him. he's went out with preppy girls and i guess i wasn't preppy enough. i changed for myself this year, more girly, and its been going good. but i'm also shy. and he is shy too. so our personalities don't go together.. but i just want to be with him. what should i do? should i try to fix myself up even more to be good enough for him and change my personality? thanks
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female
reader, masquerade711  +, writes (2 October 2008):
 Being someone other than yourself is absolutely exhausting. It's much, MUCH easier to be yourself. Plus, if you changed for him and he took you back, you would only end up resenting him down the line for "making" you change. It just wouldn't go well at ALL.
"If you feel your value lies in being merely decorative, you may find yourself believing that's all that you really are. Time erodes all such beauty, but what it cannot diminish is the inner workings of your mind, your humour, your kindness, and your moral courage." --Susan Sarandon as Marmie in Little Women
masq
A
female
reader, unknownlady  +, writes (2 October 2008):
 i take care of my appearance i have to say, i dont like goin out feeling unpretty (nt sayin i think im pretty or anythin) and i do take pride in the way i look.
But my boyfriend has seen me at my worst, he seen me on my worst days ever, hes seen me with mascara running down my face, with no make-up on what so ever. But no matter what i look like hes never finishd me because i dont always look girly and preppy!
and ill never change my personality just because the one i have doesnt connect with a guys that i like.
your boyfriend should like u for who you are, your personality, and how you look good days and bad days.
so no u shouldnt change your looks and personality at all.
im only a couple of years older than you, and to be honest i used to try and do things because i knew a lad i liked liked that in girls. But when u grow a little older and do find a boyfriend that loves you for who you are, ull reaslise all them preppy things dnt matter, and being who you are is what really counts.
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A
female
reader, BigSis +, writes (2 October 2008):
 Why should you have to change your personality for someone? You mustn't.....especially as you were only with him for about a week.
My darlin'...you are who you are, and if that's not good enough for him in HIS eyes, then you're too good for him anyway. If you change who you are it'll make you out to be false, and that's not the right way to be.
There's no problem with changing your appearance, yes becoming a little more feminine is very good, and doing yourself up, changing your hair style, plucking your eyebrows or whatever, but don't try changing your personality.
We all have our own personality/character, that's what makes us all unique individuals and that's what makes us....us.
Did any of that make sense?
Listen honey, you're going to be meeting lots of guys, and one of these days when you start dating someone else, you'll wonder why you were so upset about this one.
Take care and good luck.
BigSis
xXx
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