A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi everyone, So i have gotten myself into a pretty confusing situation where i dont even know what i feel anymore. It all started 3 years ago when i was in highschool, I was 16 at the time and thats when i met him, he wasnt just any guy, he was my teacher and right away we had a thing for each other but we never followed on our feelings while i was attending aside from texting and emailng each other constantly. The years went by and we talked and grew closer and closer, but i never took the step with him bc of the HUGE AGE GAP, he had kids my age. He was in a rush to marry quick bc he wanted someone there to help him raise his kids, so one week he left and didnt tell me where he went and came back with a wife, i was hurt but told myself it would have never worked out anyways, so i moved on and met someone and got married. I always kept in touch with him bc i we both could never seem to go without talkin to one another but always kept it on good levels in respect to our spouse. But now our conversations have gotten a little more serious and hes telling me how much he loves me and wants to go places with him and wants me come see him etc, And ive been trying to avoid the situation but i love him and i can never seem to get him off my mind. But i love my husband with all my heart and hes out to sea right now and i feel soo bad about even talking to this man but i cant help it, i love talking to him and being around him, ive loved him since the day i met him and its so hard for me to think about never talking to him again. For the past week ive stopped emailing him back and its the worse feeling in the world, i feel like im losing someone i truely care for alot and i know we could never just be friends bc it would lead to a affair and i cant do that to my husband. Any suggestions on what i should do or how i can get over this and forget about this other man. Thank u for taking the time to read this.
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female
reader, nicole5178 +, writes (14 November 2008):
 I think you can stay friends, as long as both of you adknowledge that this will never progress past friendship... like, if you both said that phrase to each other. There's no reason why you can't have friends. Just clear the thought of an affair out of your head, and continue with the emailing after you lay out some ground rules.
Best of luck!
-Nicole.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (4 November 2008):
You have to keep doing what you are doing.You are married and so is he.It doesn't matter about the age difference or anything else at this point.You just have to do the right thing and cut contact and throw yourself into something new.Keep writing to your husband and emailing him if they have net access on his ship. Join clubs and groups and fill up your social life. Start a business from home so you have something to do in your evenings.Good Luck!! xx
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