A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My GF and I have been apart since the beginning of the year. She broke up with me as she said she thinks I am bored in life and need to go and experience the world.So we agreed that I would do new things and see what happens in the future.It has taken a long time but I am finally going to work abroad next year.However I miss her so much and am wondering if it is the right decision. She has tried to get me back numerous times in a real emotional state but I said I didn't know if it would be a good idea without me finding myself.Now she has cut contact as she said its too hard but I really want to know how she is and ideally be at least friends. I don't see the point in wasting everything we had and I hate that I can't speak to her. She is in hospital a lot with asthma and I worry about her all the time but I've no way of knowing how she is.She probably thinks I don't even think about her anymore and have moved on but I do and I want to text her to see how she is but I'm afraid that that will be leading her on and restart her unhappiness to know that I still think of her but am going away.Is it right for me to contact her and let her know i'm thinking of her as I want to or should I leave her completely alone so she can move on as I don't want to hurt her either? I feel like my heart is broken and I really miss her but I also feel my life has been nothing here and I need to go and experience the world.Thank you for your time
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Koala Bear  +, writes (10 November 2011):
 Contact her if you CLEARLY want to be with her or would like for her to accompany you, basically want her back in your life. (Understand you are taking a risk and rejection could follow.)
Do NOT contact her if you are just "thinking" of her. That will just prolongs the same situation you and her are currently in. Be not contacting her you are giving her and yourself a chance to be completely open to meeting someone else.
A
female
reader, supermum +, writes (10 November 2011):
 Stop playing games with each other. Your relationship ended a year ago now, you should not be in this situation.Why would you be so cruel as to contact her again when she has made it clear she is finding it hard (hence why she cut contact in the first place) and then just leave?Personally, I would leave it. You need to move on with your life, and it sounds like you are making positive steps towards doing that. She needs time and space to move on, and cannot do that with you around. She has made that much perfectly clear to you.Good luck in your endeavours abroad!
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