A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I've posted on here before and found the answers to be helpful, so I'm back. My boyfriend of about seven months and I are in love with each other despite our differences, which I don't mind since I actually like him as a person. He doesn't believe in or like monogamy because he feels like being faithful to someone you're dating. He hasn't cheated on me or anything, but he said when I move back home for summer break we could take a break from May to August if I want one since he's not in college and I'm the college student. Should I take a break with him or just end the relationship before I leave next month? He says breaks can make relationships stronger because if someone doesn't make you feel the way he feels the way he does about me, then it's proof that we're in a good place in the relationship. I know an open relationship or break would be beneficial for him since he has a past as a cheater and womanizer, but I don't like knowing that he'd be messing around with other women when I wouldn't do anything with guys because I love my boyfriend even though he expects me to mess around with other guys.
View related questions:
a break, cheated on me, womaniser Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2013): Any man who 'does not believe in monogamy' will NEVER believe in monogamy.
If you desire a monogamous relationship, he is not the man for you.
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (16 April 2013):
 Whenever a man suggests any kind of relaxation or suspenion of the rules, you can take it to the bank he has an agenda. The only reason he offered it is because of the benefits to him, not you. Men aren't that generous when it comes to sex.
Any perks you get from it are meant to keep you happy and occupied so he can be free to pursue other women.
And it seldom works out the way he claims it will. When couples take 'a break', what they do in the off season comes back to haunt them both when they're back together.
...............................
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (16 April 2013):
This is one smooth-talking guy!!!! He's managed to get you so tangled-up in your's and his verbal underwear, such that YOU are seriously planning to sell your soul.... and HE's put it in-place that he has no real committment to be faithful to you.....
So.... to capsulize: He gets to fool around with other girls when- and where-ever he pleases... And YOU get to make excuses for him.... Do you find that odd? Doesn't "sound" like a "relationship" (or - even - much of a "friendship")....
Drop him and don't look back. Next time, get a real "boyfriend".....
Good luck...
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (16 April 2013):
 Breaks do not make relationships stronger. He just wants permission to sleep around. I would personally NOT open the relationship… rather I would END it.
I had (past tense) an open marriage. IT did not survive being open. Men seem to be fine when they are the ones having the openness but once I added a man to my side of it, my now ex-husband could not cope.
If you decide to “take a break” make sure to know that he’s going to sleep around on you and I would personally make sure I was out and about with LOTS of men and lead him to believe you are NOT missing him or thinking about him at all since, he will not be missing you or thinking of you. I bet he gets jealous of you having a life but still wants his.
...............................
A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (16 April 2013):
 This just sounds like a crappy excuse for him to sleep around and have fun with other girls because he is bored with your relationship.Tell him you dont believe in 'breaks', that if you love each other you should want to be with each other and you cannot just put relationships 'on hold' ready to pick up whenever you want. Life doesnt work that way - when you are committed to someone or something then you cant just put it on hold when you feel like it. If you had kids, he couldnt just take a break from being a father if he felt like it - and he definitely couldnt use the excuse that having a break would prove that his relationship with his children was in a good place! Same goes for marriage, you cant just take a break from being married, once you commit to someone that's the end of it. So I wouldnt allow him to have this 'break' so he can mess about with other girls, then come back to you once he's bored of the other girls. You dont want this break, that is quite clear - you dont want to be with any other men because you just want to be with him. He however wants to be with other women and is just giving you a crappy excuse that if these girls dont make him feel the same way that you make him feel, then it proves his love for you.It is all nonsense - this is just a guy who is bored and wants some fun with other women. He has 2 choices, either he stays with you and you dont have a break, or you break up for good. Easy as that.
...............................
A
female
reader, Got Issues +, writes (16 April 2013):
 Don't take a break, just dump him forever. Really. He sounds like a total loser. And stay well away from people who say they don't believe in monogamy.good luck.
...............................
|
