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Should I burn bridges with my new employer to move to another country?

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Question - (3 April 2019) 8 Answers - (Newest, 6 April 2019)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hi all,

I was hoping for some advice. I have recently accepted a job offer after some fairly vigorous interviews.

On accepting the job is was sent through a timetable stating it was actually an apprenticeship and that the first 3 weeks would be off-site training for 60 hours per week plus homework. There is also a few hours continual homework each week for a year plus exams at the end.

This was a surprise as it wasn’t mentioned in the interviews but I had no issues with the process.

However, earlier in the year I applied for what would be my last chance to get a years work visa for New Zealand. I didn’t get through as there were limited spaces and I was unfortunate. Today I was sent an email and ad a subsequent conversation with the visa company and they have said that there is a very high chance that I will be offered a visa in May as people have dropped out and I was automatically put on a waiting list.

So my dilemma is as follows. Do I start a job that involves an intensive course that I will not complete or receive anything for if I leave early. Then leave after a few months?

Do I respect that I have accepted the position and forgo my chance to go to New Zealand?

Or do I renege my job offer despite it starting this coming Monday?

Obviously I don’t want to offend, or trouble anyone or ruin my relationship with potential employeers.

I don’t mind the idea of the job I’ve accepted but I’m not as excited, and I’m fact am quite apprehensive, about doing the job knowing the opportunity has arisen.

Any advice is appreciated! Thanks!

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A female reader, Keeley345 United Kingdom +, writes (6 April 2019):

If you're feeling apprehensive about any job, DONT do it. Your instincts are trying to tell you something. Write down all the pros and cons of each job and see how you feel afterwards. Id say go for the New Zealand job. I would but this is me. When you're in NZ see if you can do courses there or try distance learning e.g open university. There are many ways to gain qualifications and work experience. Apprenticeships in the UK are many and becoming popular so you can try again another time when you're more certain. But...listen to your instincts.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (5 April 2019):

Honeypie agony auntGood luck, I hope you get your Visa!

Sometimes you HAVE to take a risk. And you having shown some foresight and DECENCY towards a new employer is definitely something that WON'T bite you on the ass.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (5 April 2019):

Honeypie agony auntGood luck, I hope you get your Visa!

Sometimes you HAVE to take a risk. And you having shown some foresight and DECENCY towards a new employer is definitely something that WON'T bite you on the ass.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2019):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Hi all, thanks for your replies. I decided to be completely honest and I phoned my employer up today to explain my situation and how I felt about my options.

He was actually really kind and understanding and said “well how can we compete with NZ?”.

I said I was regretful to put them in the situation, that I was very grateful for the offer and that I would hate to burn bridges with them even though I knew I didn’t came across well after. He said that they never black list anyone and that I would be welcome to reapply in the future if there were vacancies if and when I return.

So I am happy with the way things turned out :)

Thanks again!

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A female reader, Xx-Scorpio-xX United Kingdom + , writes (4 April 2019):

Xx-Scorpio-xX agony auntUntil you actually have that visa confirmed then stick with the job you've been offered. You're still not 100% gaurenteed to get it. If you're declined the visa and reject this job, where would that leave you?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (4 April 2019):

Honeypie agony auntPersonally, I'd be going for the NZ dream.

I would decline the job offer NOW before you are about to start, so THEY can find a new candidate. Rather than starting the job and then leaving before you are done with it all. That would be sorta "half- asses" IMHO.

UNLESS there is a chance you can go to NZ next year. If that would be possible instead, I'd take the job and do the job for a year.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway + , writes (4 April 2019):

chigirl agony auntTake your chance on New Zealand. That is where your heart lies.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2019):

Why not toss a coin and see which one comes up.

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