A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My question is do I break up with him because I really can't stand his aunt? I have been dating my boyfriend for 2 and a half years. I have decided to move in with him for 3 months while he does his internship out of state. My boyfriend's aunt (who's not really blood related is his mom's best friend and his god mother) constantly asks me what I'm doing with my life and just tries to get very nosy with details of it. I have nothing to hide and I constantly talk to my boyfriend's mom about everything I am doing as far as me wanting to get into the healthcare business how I'm currently in school, etc. She has never expressed a dislike for me. Yet his aunt purposely seeks me out at all his family functions (I see her like 8 times a year) and asks me the same stupid questions over and over. I always answer the same way and get very annoyed. My boyfriend's dad has even stood up for me a couple times and told her to shut up. I asked my boyfriend if she has done this with his sister's boyfriends in the past or currently and he told me no. My boyfriend doesn't say anything just because she's his aunt. I really don't like having her pester me about EVERYTHING, especially when I talk to my boyfriend's mom all the time and she is like my own mom.I feel that the questions should be asked once and let go after that. It's turning me off of my boyfriend because I don't like being cornered all the time. I know they say when you marry someone you marry their family and I honestly can say I don't like his aunt at all. Should I break up with my boyfriend?
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (20 April 2012):
 Would you really leave a bf because he has a tiresome aunt ? Whom you see 8 times a year ?...Big overreaction.
Give her the benefir of doubt. Maybe the poor woman is just forgetful. Maybe she does not know what to talk about with you and she thinks that is this better than the weather as a conversation subject. . Maybe she thinks she is being polite, after all in general people love to talk about themselves ,their pursuits, their goals (... while maybe the interlocutor is secretly suppressing a yawn ).
Or, maybe she is just a nosey bitch.
So ? At your age, you should have already developed the social skills necessary to handle graciously this type of situation.
You can answer casually " Same as usual, my plans haven't changed since last time " Or you can smile and say " Oh but we already talked at large about that ,don't you remember ? Enough about me, now let's talk about YOU; what about etc. etc. " You can smile and say " I'd rather not talk about my plans, least I should jinx them , you know, a little superstition, ah ah " You can say " It's a lng story, we'll have to talk about it one of these times, NOW let me get you a glass of... " You can be insouciant, or icy cold, or tongue -in - cheek. You can distract her " Look ! It's a bird ! ( Or an airplane :) " There are dozen of ways you can deflect her questions without declaring all out war ! and it really does not take a socialite ,or the Mitford sisters, to do that. It's a basic " survival " skill in social settings.
A
female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (20 April 2012):
 Hi
You only see this aunt 8 times a year she is just making polite conversation and doesnt know what else to ask you as she barely knows you.
Next time you meet start the conversation first , ask her about her life , show an interest in her .
As you get on with the rest of his family its immature and extreme to finish it over one aunt asking a few questions.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2012): Have you thought that maybe she likes you but doesnt know how to relate to you so she ends up asking the same questions. Is having to make small talk with someones aunt really worth ending a relationship for?
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A
female
reader, Deagan +, writes (20 April 2012):
 Why would you be thinking about breaking up with your boyfriend over an aunt you see 8 times a year?
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (20 April 2012):
 The Realist and Janniepeg have both given you good feedback.
I know it's irritating, but as Janniepeg pointed out, she may be lonely and not have much life of her own, for all we know. I recommend courtesy in your dealings with her and try to draw her out on the things she likes, what interests her........
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (20 April 2012):
 No! I don't think it's too difficult to express to your aunt how you feel without being rude. His dad telling her to shut up certainly didn't work. How about you tell his aunt that you already talked about it. "There you go again," and then try to change the subject and see what she is interested about in life. People get obsessed with others because they have no life themselves, are lonely and have nothing else to look forward to. If she continues to do this tell her you feel cornered. She doesn't know this is bothering you and I am sure she did not annoy you on purpose. There is nothing your boyfriend can do. If he steps in his aunt is going to get angry at him and may even complain to his parents that he has no manners. After all you are responsible for your feelings. You can also try, "no aunty, I am not answering this question again." Don't give your boyfriend a hard job to do when this is between your aunt and you and you have the power to steer the conversation.
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A
male
reader, The Realist +, writes (20 April 2012):
 I don't think that justifies a break up. You two have been together for that long and this would end it. Is there any other things that are wrong? I would never use that quote because that lady won't be around 100% of the time. Tell him you would like him to help you out in these situations. Also if the aunt is continuously asking the same questions you can always just give her the short reply of nothing has changed since last time.
One irritating aunt shouldn't be what ends the relationship, especially since you know some of the rest of the family is on your side.
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