A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi there.I've been with my boyfriend for about 9 months now. At the beginning he was a bit of a commitment-phobe but after a few months he said that he wanted to commit to me. Everything has been going well, he's mentioned our future together (moving in etc) and I can honestly say that I love him. The problem is that I looked at his messages. I know it was wrong of me and deceitful and I don't need to be told that, but it has brought to light something that I never even had a clue of. He'd messaged a female friend having a chat about her relationship (she'd split up with him because he was more into her that the other way round) and in reply, my boyfriend had put that unreciprocated love isn't good and that he wants to "hurry up and get sense slapped into him" and "fall ASAP" with me or it will "get horrible in ****'s world". I was shocked and upset by what I had read.I will talk to him tonight about where I stand. I guess what advice I want from you guys is, should I be worried and what should I say to him? I don't mind the fact that it may take him some time, everyone is different and have different past experiences with love (his ex was a real psycho from what he and others have told me and messed him up bad). Is he scared that I will hurt him? Do you think that he's keeping himself back in order to save it for someone else?Any ideas on what I should do?Thanks in advance guys. x
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female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (18 April 2012):
 HI
I wouldn't tell him about snooping down his phone, but never do it again, if there is no trust then whats left??
If he thinks he has to hurry up with love then he clearly is still not ready for a relationship, i would go now before things get more complicated. If you want to give it a go, then I would just say to him how you feel, and that your not to be compared to his ex at any time because your not like that......however you clearly have trust issues too or you would not have snooped in the first place, so maybe your not ready for a relationship either right now?...either way I wish you luck
Mandy xx
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