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Should I be worried about this?

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 December 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 13 January 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend has this friend who is a girl. He has been friends with her for a long time way before he met me. The thing is she acts nice to me but you could tell its a fake nice because its over the top. Don't any of you ever get that feeling? It's just something in your gut that tells you something isn't right. I think she's cute and I thought she was nice but then I just get a weird feeling and plus my friend met her once and also got the same feeling but she didn't act super nice to my friend just me. And of course I know that guys wouldn't be able to see girls being fake with each other so I never said anything to my boyfriend. One time when I was at his house I saw free samples of tampons, make up, and some other feminine stuff. I asked him why he had those and he said they were free so why not. This is bad but since it bothers me so much I started reading their wall-to-wall on facebook. On of his his wall post to her he said "I have your free samps." So I knew those must be hers. The next time I went over to his house and saw them again I asked him once again but he just said it was for himself. I asked why would he have make up? and he never really said anything. Why lie about something so simple? He could just say oh I ordered it for a friend. And he also has a picture of him and her in his wallet. It didn't bother me at first because it was in there when we started dating but then he changed the picture and it was another one of him and her. No picture of me and him at all. Then one time I was cleaning under his bed since he had so much trash down there I found an Old Navy bag so I looked through it and it had girl shirts in a size small so I asked him why he had those and he said he bought it for a friend. I asked which friend and he said her name. Then when we were talking about my friend that started liking me and I was figuring out how to reject him my boyfriend told me "Guys can never just be "friends" with girls" I straight out asked him "what about ______?" he said she's just and acquaintance. I always ask him to go clubbing with me but he says no he doesn't like clubbing but when she asked him to go for her birthday he planned on going. I showed my friend the wall-to-wall and she agrees they seem a bit too friendly with each other. And on facebook she obviously looks at his facebook a lot because almost all of my comments to him were liked or commented on by her. Recently, the subject of "Guys can't just be "friends" with girls" came up again so I took the chance to ask him what about his friends whom are girls. He once again said they're all acquaintance then I bought up her name once more and told him just admit it the relationship you two have is not just acquaintance and he admitted that she is considered a friend. Then I asked why he told me she was just an acquaintance before and he she he meant girls in general. I reminded him of the time when I asked him about her and he said she's a hybrid between friends and acquaintance. -_- And i was only available to hang out yesterday but he hung out with her and they cooked together. It's some special tradition for them to cook together O.o He could've at least invited me right? I mean how would you feel if your boyfriend was baking with some girl at his house? I do not suspect them of having an affair but maybe that she likes him? I could be wrong about all of this. I just need people on the outside of the relationship to look at the situation and tell me what they think. Thanks!

Sorry its so long!

View related questions: affair, clubbing, facebook, navy, tampon

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Well I don't really know what to believe. He told me he used to like her and doesn't anymore but they seem close. From what I observe I think she didn't start liking him until he became unavailable like when he got with me. She has a boyfriend though. My boyfriend tells me she's just really friendly thats all -_- She doesn't seem friendly with anybody else but him. My boyfriend took me to the park to BBQ with his friends. It was all guys except me up until she came. When she came she only gave my boyfriend a hug. Only him. O.o The she ws being super nice to me. I didn't know anyone so I followed my boyfriend around the whole night and would randomly jumped and hug him since thats what I usually do. One time I was sitting alone and saw her walk up to talk to him a few feet away so I skipped over there and stood next to him. At the end of the night she left without saying bye to us. Where's the super niceness?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2009):

It sounds to me, as well, that he is intimate with that woman. Does he cheat on her with you? I bet she really detests you.

And some guys lie. They can see things like girls being fake to each other. At least, I can. And I don't think that makes me special. Guys also secretly like romance movies... the ones that aren't completely egotistical from the point of view of the woman anyway. Just like I'm sure you secretly see the appeal of action movies... the ones in which the violence isn't so obviously fake that it's just stupid (unless that's the point and it's really a comedy).

He sounds like he's being a slut. He probaly thinks he's really pimp, but really he's just hurting people.

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