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Should I be insulted, my husband tells his friends he was attracted to me because of my breasts?

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Question - (24 June 2008) 8 Answers - (Newest, 2 August 2008)
A female Ireland age 41-50, anonymous writes:

would you be insulted if your husband told a group of people we were out with (mainly his friends) that the first thing that attracted him to me was my big breasts and was the reason he approach me.

I felt a bit like it was disrespectiful, i mentioned it to him and he said it was true and that he ment it as a joke!

am i over reacting??

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A male reader, hdell United States +, writes (2 August 2008):

Don't be insulted. Just because he was first attracted to you because of your breasts doesn't mean that that is the only reason he married you. When he says what he says he is probably complimenting you. He is saying something like this: "My wife is a real doll. She has a wonderful set of knockers. Too bad you guys don't have the same priledge that I have."

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A female reader, Ck1 United Kingdom +, writes (24 June 2008):

i wouldnt give him any sex....to let him suffer for his disrespectful behaviour

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2008):

original poster;

Thank you all for your answers.

I am not bothered so much that he was attracted first of all, its more to do with the fact that he said this in front of his friends and i just sitting there, i was embarrassed to say the least, they kinda just looked at me.

My husband is a kind man in many ways, its just sometimes he comes out with things like this or undermines me a bit in front of his friends, i think he tries to be kinda cool (for the want of a better word) but it did annoy me at the tiime and i did mentioned this to him.

Thanks once again

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2008):

If it were me--I definitely would have felt very disrespected. Msybe,some woman wouldn't mind it, but I personally know many who'd give their hubby a swift kick in the shin for doing this. So yes, I understand your feelings, as I have seen some people take the boasting of their partner's assets to the extreme, thus hurting the person they love, deeply. Each individual reacts to this sort of thing in their own way. While I agree that it is nice he loves your breasts...I will state that this is a private thing between you both. I feel it was unecessary to tell others. I am sorry he did this to you.

I do think he was being unthinking and impetuous, to have done so. Some people just do unthinking things to those they love. As the other half of this relationship you have the right to tell him clearly how this made you feel and not to do this again. Set a boundary and make sure he respects that. After you do this, just move on and get on with the positive, happy aspects of your relationship.

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A female reader, Artistry United States +, writes (24 June 2008):

Artistry agony auntHi, There are two different ways to look at this, first, he made the remark in front of other people. That could be embarrassing. Two, he was attracted to you because of your breasts, yes, but, why did he stay, and why did he marry you. There was more substance, and the qualities that you possess as a person, were more than enough for him to love you. Men are, after all visual, and women are emotional, in most instances, so it is not unusal, for a man to say this about a woman. He was trying to be funny, if you really did not like it, ask him not to say it again to other people, you were embarrassed. I am sure he will consider your feelings. But take it as a compliment, you attracted him, but then the rest of your relationship, was something deeper, than your external essentials. Take care.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2008):

Maybe we all misunderstood, but are you concerned because he was first attracted by your breasts or because he made that remark while with your friends? I don't think it is disrespectful to admit that he was first attracted to your breasts, but it was probably out of place for him to joke about it when with others. I think it would be perfectly fine for you to tell him that it embarrassed you and that you would prefer that he not make remarks like that when with others. I don't think that it should bother you that it was what first attracted him to you. My wife's slim and nicely shaped body was what first attracted me to her, besides the fact that there were few available nice women who I knew at the time.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2008):

I think that you are over-reacting. First attractions are almost always physical. What else is there to go by, unless you have been friends for some time? As cupidguy said, take it as a complement that he likes your body. I'm sure that what he likes about you now is much more than just your body. If he still likes your breasts then be happy that he likes all of you now.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2008):

Hi, I think you may be overreacting slightly.

the fact that you are still together would suggest to me that he really does love you for more than your breasts now!.

But seriously, why was you attracted to him? was it because hes good looking?, or did he have a good body?. it goes both ways!.

Its just how the mind works with men in particular, the larger the breasts the more fertile you appear to them. it goes back to primative times when men were wired up to see a woman as a breeding partner and not as a life mate.

So dont take offence to it, you should be flattered!.

xx

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