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Should I ask out my instructor?

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 April 2017) 5 Answers - (Newest, 20 April 2017)
A female United States age 22-25, anonymous writes:

Should I ask out my instructor after I graduate?

I really like one of my lecturers, he is really cute and nice, and obviously very smart. I've gone to his office a few times, and during one of my visits he scooted his chair over really close to me to show me something in the book- i'm not sure if I'm reading to much into his behavior but I think he might like me back. Usually we are in the office alone, but last time there was another person in there and he sat a bit farther away from me- at least it seemed like it. Anyway, I want to ask him out for coffee at the end of the semester. Should I? If yes, then when, after graduation or after the final? And how- in person or over e-mail? In person may be difficult depending on the timing.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland + , writes (20 April 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntIt doesn't sound to me like he is interested, you are reading much to in to it. Are you sure he is even single? Emailing him shows how little you must know him if you cannot ask him out to his face. Honestly this is not a good idea. But if you are going to ask him wait until after graduation and do it face to face not by email and especially not by his work email.

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A female reader, CoreMessage United Kingdom +, writes (19 April 2017):

CoreMessage agony auntOkay, so, you have to be level-headed about this. Answer these questions:

1. How old is he? Is he much older than you?

2. Is he married? In a relationship? Kids?

If you don't know the answer to these questions, then I suggest moving on. Hot teachers are usually in a relationship.

If he isn't much older than you, I would suggest at least trying. Maybe your relationship could be private for a while, so his reputation isn't completely damaged.

If hes a lot older, move on. It would damage his reputation.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (19 April 2017):

Honeypie agony aunt1. how much do you even know about him? Is he single? married?

2. while he might have found you attractive he hasn't acted on it. Why? Because it's his job that is at stake. He comes on to contact with LOADS of young cute girls like you.

3. he is an instructor so dating a student (even recently graduated) might not be something HE wants to do.

I'd rethink this little crush and move on.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2017):

I think it is a bad idea, it will certainly damage his reputation, even if it is after you have left college. I would advise you to fight these urges and look for someone who doesn't hold a position of trust with young people.

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A male reader, Denizen United Kingdom + , writes (19 April 2017):

Denizen agony auntI don't think you should make any approaches to your tutor, particularly on the evidence you offer. He's there to do a job. He isn't there to be your friend, confidant, or more.

If you appreciate the work he has done with you then send him a nice card at the end expressing your thanks.

I don't know how things work in your country but dating your teacher is a No! No! in UK.

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